


Last Chance

by yetti



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Complete, Definitely a happy ending, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Romance, one-sided!KiKuro, this story is purely an OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:30:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6575737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yetti/pseuds/yetti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If it isn't enough to hurt him, Akashi even denied his existence.</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Red Envelope](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6552775) by [Fumi_Grayheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fumi_Grayheart/pseuds/Fumi_Grayheart). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiona dear, I was inspired and got challenged by your Red Envelope and then this came to mind. Read at your own convenient...
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own KnB and it's characters.

 

_Slowly, I closed my eyes_

_and feel the calm beating of my heart_

_heavy air filled my chest_

_but who'd care anyway_

_and yet here I am_

_sharing the pain you'd been holding inside_

_can you give me one last chance?_

_can you let me ease the pain?_

_what should I do?_

_please, tell me_

_because in my heart_

_it has always been you..._

 

A tiny smile tugged up one corner of his mouth, Tetsuya noticed that there's the faintest sadness in the vocalist's eyes. Was that a coincident? Or just his wishful thinking? Did he overlook it? He sighed. How many years had it been? Two? Three? But it doesn't matter how long it was, the idea that they'll be together again has been buried to the deepest part of his heart. He knows too well that they have different worlds now. The gap between them signifies that he can never reach those hands again, a body and a soul that was once his, those smiles and teased, those hugs and kisses, those caress and affection, were all now just memories that Kuroko had to reminisced. No one would thought that once in Akashi Seijuro's life, someone like him walked passed like a dust in the wind. No one would ever believe. 

Kuroko Tetsuya,  living a life of a carefree journalist, spending his everyday life running and tagging mostly along the road, surviving from every dangers he met and just laughed it out when the scope had ended. Her neighbor Satsuki often nag at him for barely coming home, his phone was always on fire after a two weeks in a row of not seeing or contacting her. Having Satsuki and her son cast the sadness that was enveloped inside his heart. She knew and understood how he had went through after Akashi ditched him. Yes, Akashi and Kuroko had a past and now in their separate lives, never did their path cross again since that night Akashi broke up with him and left with no explanation. 

Akashi had finished delivering his last piece, yet the audience were shouting and asking for another song, but he just waved his hand and say thank you to them. He was one of the guest of the early night show "good evening Tokyo!" as a welcome home interview after three years off the country. He travelled outside the country to try his luck as a musician and a model, and not long he became popular and was swoon by the public. His album records were all gone top hits all around internationally. Three days ago, it was rumored of his coming back in Japan to promote his newest album titled Last Chance and the song he sang just now was the single carrier. Kuroko was sent by Tokyo Weekly Newspaper to go for his press conference after the show. He was nervous and wasn't ready to see him now, not in the near future and even if forever. As long as  the thought of Akashi is back, that's more than enough.

Before the press conference started, Akashi looked over his manager back stage and took a minute of rest. The dresser has fix his  bit crampled wardrobe while his make-up artist retouched his make up. And after the advertisement, he went to the room conference.

Kuroko sat on a place where Akashi couldn't see him, but fair enough for Kuroko to see him clearly.  He noticed he wore a cheerful smile with no pretense as usual as before. He'd change a lot physically, he became more mature and manly. His face become more handsome and mesmerizing, straight long nose, lips on the thin side and those disturbingly penetrated heterochromatic eyes, features once he adored and admired.... until now. 

"Akashi-san, how long have you been away?" a lady journalist started to asked.

"Hmm, it's been....three years?" he smiled and lift an eyebrow like he was not certain of his answer. 

"With those time, have you ever missed Japan?" 

"Of course, this is my home. My family and friends are here."

"As an international singer and model, how do you cope up with your work? Is it stressful?" another reporter asked.

"Well, it's not easy as a first timer especially when you are in a foreign land. It's hard to deal with someone you never meet before, you must have long patience and perseverance. I had to put down my pride in order to be acknowledge, competitions are very tough. And as for stress, that goes along with every work, right? " Akashi plastered a god's smile making the audience giggle. 

"Now, you came back, was there any special reason behind it?"

"To promote my newest album, and I decided to stay here for good."

The audience once again screamed.

After hearing Akashi's answer, Kuroko's heart goes thump. He doesn't know why but somehow he got excited and happy, the thought he's near is a very good news to him. But then his happy thought jolt down after hearing the next words coming from the model's mouth.

"Your carrier single titled Last Chance, it was rumored you wrote that song for your ex-lover before you went international. Is that true?"

Surprisingly, Akashi laughed. And Kuroko heard the worst words he ever heard.

"As you had said it's only a rumor." he simply replied.

"So, it's not true?" 

"How can it be true when I didn't have any lover before I left Japan?" 

_What????_

Kuroko's face gone white, he felt cold. Its like the words came from Akashi had froze and numbed him. 

_It didn't matter if you said the song wasn't for me, it doesn't matter if you had forgotten me now, but saying you never had a lover before you left? Haven't you gone overboard, Akashi-kun?_

Kuroko swallowed to flush away the lump formed in his throat. That's another layer added to his callous heart.

 _Oh, god. It hurts so much!_  Kuroko clenched his chest, Akashi has completely denied his existence.

Tetsuya didn't know when did the conference ended. He didn't even noticed how he got out from the room and how he got home. The only thing swirling inside his mind was the pain Akashi had inflicted him.

Silently, his heart cried once again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting another story despite the fact that I still have unfinished ones....hihihi....✌✌✌


	2. Chapter 2

 

Maybe he had been wrong, and perhaps he hadn't gave his full attention to him when they were still lovers and so he thought. Or maybe his feelings had lacking something that made Akashi changed. Tetsuya gazed out showing his face of indication that he wasn't pleased and happy of what he heard from him during the interview. Quietly, he harnessed the most extreme of his feelings as his mind went back to their past.

_For a definite moment, the roaring silence has embraced the entire room, Tetsuya was consciously aware of the man lying soundly asleep beside him on the bed. Slowly, he lifted his hand and combed his hair through his fingers, then descending it to trace the lines in his sinful face, his eyes down to his nose and landed on his lips. He couldn't relinquish the sweet and tender comfort from his warm body. One heartbeat longer and Tetsuya can't contain the urge of smacking him a kiss, but Akashi squinted one eye. Akashi's hand moved and wrapped his waist. He shuddered when he felt the tucking of a windblown strand of hair under his ear. Akashi's gestures were so delightful in Tetsuya's heart that it made him immobilized. His lips trembled like a tempest-tossed feather when Akashi cut the distance between their faces with mesmerizing motion, and started to kiss Tetsuya back. The bluehead threw his arms around Akashi's neck, dragging his body against his. He could feel his heart thrummed as loud as a thunder,tagging along with the hammering of his ragged breath. He gusted out a silent gasp when he slowly bit his lips, squeezed him tight wanting more. Tetsuya heard his raspy chuckle that brought goosebump down his stomach, while his lips played taste and tell along his neck nibbling. A deep groaned echoed inwardly._

_"A-akashi-kun..."_

_"What's wrong?" he whispered._

_"N-nothing...just love me more...please," Tetsuya whispered back._

_Akashi's palm grew more exacting on the tangible intensity of his voice, his head slightly tilted to Tetsuya's gaze and he could feel his cold hands. His heart skipped in rhythm to the beating cadence of the vein in his throat. Their eyes met and he saw a glimmer of happiness in those misty orbs. Akashi grabbed his hips and hiked them higher, started to move his body against the smaller guy. He groaned. Tetsuya wrapped the redhead's waist in the prison of his legs, and he thrust a plunging stroke welcoming a hot spill inside him. They both gasped in the ecstacy when they'd reached the peak of the oneness of their soul._

_"I love you...Akashi-kun."_

_"Tetsuya..."_

_Akashi raised his head to meet his lips once more and then rolled over to the other side of the bed. As he stared at the ceiling calming down his breath, he started a smooth talk._

_"Tetsuya..."_

_"Hmmm?"_

_"How would the sound of moving in with me appeals to you?"_

_Silence plopped into the cerulean's ears and fell to dazed. Did he heard it right?_

_"Would you like to live with me?" Akashi retracted his words._

_Tetsuya did not responded immediately and doze off from what was being asked of him. If truth be told, he was long secretly hoping for Akashi to invite him and live together. But hearing it right from the redhead's mouth, he can't find his voice._

_"You don't like the idea?" worry has flustered on Akashi's face._

_"No! I mean...yes, of course, I really like it. B-but..."_

_"Then, why are you hesitating?"_

_Tetsuya looked at him. He was scared. He was afraid that if he live together with him, he might drag him down now that Akashi has just on the peak of his popularity. It isn't good to taint his status, and what if it goes out to the public that Akashi is actually living with his male partner? Tetsuya knew that his dream was to become a famous musician or a model, and he isn't thick skinned to ruin that dream. Supporting him now was all he could do._

_"Akashi-kun, didn't you just reached your goal?"_

_"So?"_

_"You know....I might ruin it. Uhm...."_

_"Speaking of non-sense again, are we?" Akashi hugged him tightly as if telling him to not worry about it._

_These sweet gestures of him melted Tetsuya's uncertainty. He hugged him back and agreed to live with him._

 

_Akashi and Tetsuya were going out for almost six years already, they were in their fresh year of high school when both decided to went steady since their feelings were in parallel. Most of their friends got shocked when they had known they're couples, but even so, they were accepted and nothing change in their group circle._

_Their relationship continued until they graduated high school, but of course, as normal couples, there were ups and downs._

_The first time Tetsuya got angry at the redhead was when he found out he's fooling around. And it made him angrier when he'd saw with his own eyes that Akashi was dating a girl behind him. He got mad and furious, he thought he's only after men but he thought wrong. Tetsuya never talked to him for almost a month but the other guy kept on calling him through phone and then going to his house. Akashi said that Tetsuya was the one he really love but, who would inclinely believe in such a lame lie? Tetsuya wasn't stupid and he knew the difference liking between a girl and a boy. But blame his kind and fool heart, he can't endure the sight of Akashi standing for three to five hours almost everyday outside his door. Since it was the very first time the redhead has cheated on him, Tetsuya's heart melted and forgave him, anyway he believed that it was only a disdained display of immaturity._

_When they graduated, they went in the same university in Tokyo and living in their own boarding houses. Akashi being the son of a business tycoon, of course, it was obviously him living in a very nice, expensive and yet homey condo while Tetsuya as the son of an average family, he only got to lived in a small apartment._

_Their relationship gone smoothly. But never did the bluehead thought that once again, he was cheated._

_It was around during their second year in college when he felt something's wrong going on between them. They were dating that time in the park, Akashi was singing a song for him. Both of them were sitting on the grass leaning against their back. Nearby was a talent scout of a known entertainment agency and got impressed by his voice. That person brought him into the industry and honed his talent. It was the chance for him to show to his father that even without his influence, he can get by his name into fame._

_And that was the beginning._

_After he was introduced and acknowledged by the public, his fame grew faster. But it's also the time where Tetsuya felt stranged from him. In the circulation of his busy world, there were speculations rolling each corner. He heard that Akashi was going out with her manager, so naturally, Tetsuya confronted him which the singer had strongly denied. Usually, after school they dine together and take a walk in the park before Akashi send him to his apartment. But for these past two weeks, after school Akashi rushingly parted from him and said he has new album to release in the coming months so he have to work hard and he have to go home alone._

_One of the days Tetsuya planned to surprised him in his condo. Akashi was still at the agency, he thought. So, with much cheerful aura, he went to his place when he thought it was the time for his lover to return home. Nearing the building, Tetsuya felt a cold mountain wind whipped around him making him shuddered, it's a no wonder since the weather was cold, he huddled more tight of his jacket. Before he reached the entrance, his eyes caught a black car at the parking area. His heart beats involuntarily, maybe it was instinct that he trudged near the car. And to his shocked, two men were kissing inside. To his rage, Akashi was groping the other guy's head while keeping close his eyes. Tetsuya didn't thought of making a ruckus and he knocked the window as hard it could break._

_The two separated quickly, their eyes shifted outside the window. Impatiently, Tetsuya banged the door of the car. Akashi got out first, helding his hands up. Grumbling under his breath, Tetsuta cursed the moment Akashi struck his first word. He wavered unsteadily on second thought, but Tetsuya didn't gave him the chance to make a lie._

_"What were you doing? What's the meaning of these?" Tetsuya asked, if looks could kill, Akashi would probably laying dead on the ground in a second._

_"T-that's....l-let me explain..."_

_"Who was that man? So it's true you were not dating your manager, that was only a front to hide the truth. Who is he?"_

_"R-Reo Mibuchi...I'm sure you know him, the model."_

_Tetsuya squeezed his eyes tight, gritted his teeth and clenched his hands. He was angry, for real. He wanted to burst out. If he hadn't restrained himself from the thought that Akashi's face was precious to his work, he had already punch him right. But he just stared at him. Tetsuya felt his chest became heavy he'd hardly breath, his body started to tremble and his feet were itching to turn his back and leave. He couldn't stand to stay another second in that place but then his heart ached when his eyes glanced at the other guy inside the car._

_"See you tomorrow, Sei-chan." the guy whom Akashi called Reo waved his hand. Before he started the car and drive, he left a mocking smile towards Tetsuya._

_Akashi just nodded._

_"Can we just go inside your house now, Akashi-kun?" Tetsuya's voice stammered and it's late to hide._

_"O-okay," surprisingly, he answered submissively._

_Tetsuya walk in first and the redhead followed him from behind. While they were walking, Akashi tried to speak but he didn't say a thing because he felt his throat became numb and words were stuck up in the middle of it._

_"Tetsuya...?"_

_Tetsuya sighed. He lost. He turned his back and looked at him._

_...why can't I hate you? What's with you that I have to always cling to you? And why does this stupid heart of mine can't stop loving you? I felt so helpless and tired I wanted to scream. Am I not enough, Akashi-kun?..._

_Tetsuya mentally cried._

_He averted his eyes, he's afraid afterall._

_...I'm afraid of losing you...._

_Once again, Tetsuya forgave him and accepted him wholeheartedly._

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

_After a quiet sometime and that cheating matter had been resoluted. Tetsuya didn't saw him again with that model and they're back as usual. The rumors had subsided and he was relieved, Akashi was again as caring as ever._

_They started living together in Akashi's condo, Tetsuya had moved in with him and told his parents he found a better place to stay, of course, he need not tell them the truth. It's like as if his life was in circle there was no end of his happiness. It always appears to him like this when he wakes up._

_Sunlight shines bright on Akashi's face lending a brilliance to the waves of his silky hair that sprawled over the pillow, framing his face of such exquisite beauty it took away the cerulean's breath as he traced his jawline. He was still sleeping, or rather, pretending asleep, exhausted from an overtime work added by the union of their bodies last night. He can't help but to plant a quick soft peck on his half parted lips. Akashi purred like a cat, shifted position and then continued to sleep. Tetsuya had one last look and got up to prepare breakfast. They have to go school, Akashi will report to his agency in the afternoon and Tetsuya will also go to his part time job when class will ended._

_Tetsuya passed by the living room and switched on the radio tuning in to FM station of his choice. Dragging his feet to the kitchen and started preparing first the coffee pot. Akashi preffered black coffee and two slices of bread for breakfast. This routine everyday makes him wonder when will he ever get used to living with him._

_His lips fainted a smile when he heard the radio._

_.....and now, we're gonna play the song hitting the top of the chart in six weeks sang by our very own Akashi Seijuro's "fly with me to the sky". Here we go,_

_If you were sad and crying and_

_tears pour down like rain,_

_and if the world turned it's back from you_

_just look beside you, I am here_

_come with me,_

_and take my hands_

_lay your burdens on my shoulder_

_trust in me._

_Let the wind blow us high,_

_and fly with me up to the sky_

_don't be scared honey,_

_I'll be your hero, your knight in shining armour tonight,_

_and in your lost dark world,_

_I'll be your forever guiding light..._

 

_Tetsuya remembered this song lyrics were his, he wrote this poem when he was bored waiting for his subject teacher during one of his class. He showed it once to Akashi when he met him and he never thought he would put a melody in it. And oh, come to think of it, his draft notes where he wrote all his poems was missing. Did Akashi took it?  Well then, he would like it if he'll put melodies in each piece. He'll probably wait to listen for him singing them._

_The thought of it makes him happy._

_"Enjoying the song, hmm?" two hands embraced him from behind, obviously, Akashi knew what was he thinking._

_"You're awake, morning."_

_"Morning," Akashi sat on the chair. He started to spread butter on the bread and then handed it to Tetsuya after. "Eat,"_

_"T-thanks," Tetsuya said. Even with his tiniest gesture, the bluehead still stunned. He always thought then that Akashi was a person with no exhibition to himself at all, and the more days to come, the more he gets so much in touch with him that it felt like forever's not enough._

_Tetsuya was currently having a part time job as an errand boy in one of the television network company in the country. While he was struggling to do his best in work and in university, likewise, Akashi continued to climb the top._

_"How's your part time?" Akashi casually asked while having his bread._

_"Fine,"_

_"Do you get along well with your co-workers and your superiors?"_

_"Yeah, they were all nice to me. My supervisor said that he can recommend me to work there permanently if I'll graduate, that is if I want to stay there longer."_

_"And?"_

_"Maybe I can consider working there after graduating, anyway it's still long way to go."_

_"That's good, at least you don't have to look a new job anymore since you'll become familiar with the company it will make things go easy."_

_"Hmm, is that so? Well, I'll just do my best then."_

_"Anyway, I'll be out of town next morning. The agency decided to do the photoshoot in the beach instead of using props inside the company building, so I'll be out for two days." Akashi drink his coffee in one gulp and then stand up._

_"Beach? Which sea?" Tetsuya asked, he stood too and clean the table. He put all the dishes in the sink and wash them._

_"Don't know yet, I was'nt inform where we'll go." he replied modestly._

_While Tetsuya was washing, Akashi stood behind and enveloped his hands on his waist leaning his chin over his shoulder. He caught his scent, closing his eyes he took a deep breath. Everytime, being so near like this to the bluehead disconcerted him._

_Tetsuya turned his head and their faces were too close that in a movement, their lips almost touched each other. He felt the warm air in his cheeks it made his blood pump._

_"Go and shower, Akashi-kun. We'll be late in school if you keep sticking on me," he said._

_A sigh came out from the singer's mouth and then let go of his hands. Wounding his feet to the bathroom, Akashi took all his time to wash himself._

_***************_

_To make himself busy while Akashi was out of town, Tetsuya asked his supervisor to give him more work. Going home so early makes him misses the redhead, he didn't see him for two days and it feels long._

_His supervisor seemed to understand him, yet seeing him completely unaware of his own actions, he started to tease._

_"Diversion?" he begun talking._

_As clueless he was, Tetsuya says, "eh?"_

_"Lovesick, how envious." the supervisor continued._

_Tetsuya blushed. "I-it's...nothing like that."_

_"But your action says so," he smirked._

_The more Tetsuya gone beet and the supervisor laughed._

_"Anyway, time to break. Want to eat lunch with me?"_

_Tetsuya wondered why his supervisor suddenly became friendly. "Is it alright?"_

_"Yeah, it's fine. Sometimes eating with someone draws your appetite, and we're not alone. We can eat with them, too." he glanced at the other employees on the cubicles and as if one head they all nodded._

_A few minutes later and they're gone out for lunch. The food stall occupied the corner of fifth avenue and next street across from company building, the parking lot and another commercial building. It was said that this food stall was the best in the neighborhood and almost everyone drifted in to eat here everyday._

_While eating, one of the employees speak._

_"Your head's knocked out, I supposed. Or have you woke up in the wrong side of your bed?" he cocked one eyebrow playfully._

_A quick laughed came out from his mouth._

_"Nah, I just want this young man here loose up a bit. He looks fully burden," he glanced at Tetsuya._

_"Oh, that's so nice of you, visor."_

_"Cut with the slug, just enjoy your food or else I won't pay your share."_

_Tetsuya silently eat his food. Akashi will be back home late tonight and everyone in the company will be having an overtime, they're rushing the second episode of their magazine so he decided to stay late too. He'll just send a message to him to dine outside._

_After lunch, the group resumed to work._

_As expected, everyone have an overtime. Tetsuya sent a message to Akashi as planned but the redhead didn't replied._

_"Maybe he's driving," so he did not expect him to send a reply and go on with his work._

_***************_

_Tetsuya looked through the hallways into the cubicles and stared at the clock hanging on the wall above the open door. It's almost time to go home, he's hungry and tired. Suddenly, he thought of sparing a day off to be with Akashi next week end and have a date any where as long as they can relax. And as soon as the idea leapt to mind, an explicitly smile run through his face. He's starting to feel real pushed that a shudder sneak along his body as the breeze from the open window came in and brushed his skin. Scowling and grumbling under his breath, he huddled his jacket tight. He realized how he miss the redhead._

_When work's finally ended, Tetsuya rushly gone out from the building. After buying some cooked food in a convenient store,  he walked down home. But he was surprised of the scene he just caught off. His heart stop to pump blood making his face as pale as alabaster._

_Time ticked snidely._

_How long have Tetsuya been standing there?_

_The silence rumbled along the cold night and somehow he managed to keep himself from shivering. How long has he been standing still as a stone behind the tree a few distant away from the car infront of the condo building? How long had he been staring at the two person through the window kissing inside the car? Hell, yeah. Long enough to watched them kissing savagely, long enough to feel his heart slam frantically against his chest. Long enough to know what it feels like going away unwillingly and unable to stay. He swallowed soundly to clear the knots formed in his throat, telling himself to draw in deep, steady breaths and forced his gaze away from them and tried his will to ignore it._

_Tetsuya played possum to send a silent prayer to the heavens that the heat coursing through his body couldn't reach his eyes as he hid himself from them. Strangling somewhat on the thought that Akashi was cheating on him again for the third time, was he wrong when he forgave him that time so easily?_

_All the time he was faithful to him and never did he get himself into their relationship of any troubles. He gave all of his to Akashi and yet this is all he gets in return. Was he wrong he loves him so much? Was he wrong giving all his trust?_

_Tetsuya inhaled sharply when he saw Akashi stepped out from the car. Waving his hand goodnight to the other person inside the car, his eyes tailed until it disappear from his sight. He waited for Akashi to enter the building before Tetsuya stepped out from where he had been hiding. A tiny rational corner of his mind screamed, scooping the shattered pieces of his heart._

_Will I go through another heart ache again?  Am I wrong accepting you over and over again while stammering me down, Akashi-kun? You're so cruel..._

_Misty eyed, he slowly wiped them._

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

_Tetsuya walked in silently  inside the condo as if he didn't saw anything. Akashi wasn't found anywhere in the living room nor in the bedroom, he assumed he was bathing. Sadly he put away his things on the table and sat at the bed edge, softly touching the linen cloth covering it as if he can find an answer to his pain. Tetsuya tried to hurled back his tears from falling, it doesn't feel right to be pathetic, not around him. He won't ever give him the chance to see him like that. His spine stiffened into rigid line when the bathroom door creaked sound. Akashi walked near the locker to get some clothes to wear on, and the first thing his eyes caught was  the red-purple marked above his nipple. Tetsuya quickly shifted eyes and ignore it, though his chest tightened he didn't say anything. Akashi had wore his clothes and as the sound of his footsteps coming near the bed, Tetsuya's pulse picked up scolding himself for letting his thought run away with his brain and he kept his mouth shut._

_Perhaps the silence has prompted the redhead to speak up._

_"Did you just got back?" he asked._

_"Y-yeah," his voice came out in thin line._

_"You had your dinner?"_

_As if his stomach heard him it grumbled, but Tetsuya has most vividly lied. "Yes,"  his throat clouded by lumps he choke._

_"The water is still hot, you can go bath now."_

_"E-excuse me then," afraid Akashi will read his gloomy face, Tetsuya didn't gave him a single glance._

_Inside the bathroom, Tetsuya let the water run down his naked body to cool his head and his aching heart. Sucking in gulp of drips of water coming from the shower, he clamped his lips tight after. Doing it purposely to make himself as contrary as possible, he made an inward shudder to driveoff the barmy thoughts wandering inside his mind. Tetsuya looked down into his featured shadow from the bathroom walls and he knew he wasn't ready to confront him yet. But as he thought it furiously, why was it like this?_

_Why do I have to suffer when I only wanted to love you?_

_Tetsuya sheathed his face with his two palms while getting himself soaked with the cold water, he didn't go in the bath tub where Akashi had his a while ago. And after twenty minutes of calming his mind, he dried himself, wore his pyjamas and got out from the bathroom._

_Akashi was already in bed when he came out, his back facing him. Tetsuya can't seem to tell if he's asleep or not. Slowly he climbed up the bed, sighing in numbers as he pull some blanket to cover himself and lay down to sleep. He could see his shoulder moved along with his calm breathing._

_How come you are so relaxed, Akashi-kun?  How come you don't seem bothered by your shifty masquerade as if you didn't do me wrong? Am I a laughing toy to you now, Akashi-kun? And why does even if it really, really hurts me, yet God knows how much I've been missing you._

_Tetsuya loves this man so deeply to the point he was closing both eyes, making himself hearing nothing, and clamping his mouth tight, to the point that he's shutting down everything._

_"A-Akashi-kun...are you still awake?" he asked, but the redhead didn't gave him any response. Yet Tetsuya continued. "A-Akashi-kun, I miss you..." he hugged him tight from behind and planted a soft kiss on to his nape then cling both legs to him._

_"Tetsuya, I'm tired. Let's sleep and we'll talk tomorrow, okay?" finally Akashi spoke but his back still facing him._

_"T-then, can I kiss you goodnight?"_

_Akashi just sighed._

_"Where's your car? I saw someone drop you here,"_

_"There's no more train at this late hour so I lent it to him, I can just get it back tomorrow at the agency." he replied lazily._

_"W-who was he?"_

_"What is this? What are you up to?" his voice was obviously toned up a bit._

_"I just want to know who sent you, that's all. You don't have to flare up to me." Tetsuya responded, hedging._

_"Then don't ask anymore, I told you I'm tired." maybe Akashi felt guilty by suddenly raising his voice to him, he answered. "Reo, he's the one who drove the car."_

_Reo!???_

_Why was that model with him? And come to think of it, it's only now that he realized it but, do singers have photoshoots outside too? Aren't only models do that? Was Akashi not telling him something?_

_Tetsuya hurled up his voice inward not to let out a strangled sound. Slowly, slowly, he slowly let go of his hand from hugging him and legs from clinging and moved to face the opposite wall. As much as he wanted his mind to be cleared, he closed his eyes and let the night take him away to anywhere in the dark. How'd he wished all if these heartaches will just disappear and when he'll get up tomorrow, he'd just think of it as a bad, bad dream._

_But in the next morning, Akashi acted as if there's nothing they have to clear about. Tetsuya waited on the next day, the day after that, and the next days until  three months passed yet Akashi didn't open up again. The days had gone through like ordinary days, until he felt that they're like falling apart with each other. School break came and there's no improvement, they go to their own work, eat in the morning together, talk a bit about their day. At night time when one has an overtime work, the other had already asleep when the other reached home. Tetsuya knew that Akashi has been seeing that model since then but he kept his mouth zipped still and their intimate times had gone worst. No goodmornings and goodnights kisses, no hugs, and no sweet talks. Until school has come again, now they're both in their third years._

_There were times Akashi didn't came home and eventhough he wouldn't say and Tetsuya never asked, he knew that he's with Reo. Thinking about all of these, Tetsuya seemed lost and his grades were affected, even at his part time job and his senpai's had noticed it. His supervisor acted not only as a superior to him but as a friend and as big brother. But Tetsuya couldn't say it so easily, telling him he has a fight with his lover is enough. He need not tell him that he's actually living with him and that he's a guy. On top of that, he's very popular on these days._

_"Geez, kids these days are so mature when it comes to relationship, huh. You really love her that much," he softly patted him on the shoulder. "Wait for her head to cool off and then talk to her properly, asked her what she wants and what's going on. Then if she doesn't listen to you, maybe it's time for you to just give up, right?"_

_"B-but...."_

_"You know, you are still young. You can find someone better than her in the future. Or who knows, someday you'll meet again. Well, that's only my advice. It's up for you to listen or not, but I hope I helped you a bit. You have to give more priority in your university, nevermind our work here. I can cover you up with the bosses.." he gave him a blink and a smile with assurance._

_"T-thank you.."_

_The supervisor rustled his hair and then left, Tetsuya smiled and then took his things from his locker and went home. Along the way he was planning what to buy and cook for dinner. He was so please that despite of his shortcomings and mistakes, his senpais at work were very kind and understanding.His supervisor had him left work early so he can have a proper talk to his lover. Tetsuya bought the things that Akashi liked, then he can cook his favorites. He wanted to mend everything and he's determined to bring back their fading relationship._

_He was so cheerful. But when he opened the door of their home, he was shocked._

_Akashi was sitting on the couch head down, his hand steepled under his chin, but what caught him off guard was beside him were three big luggages._

_"A-Akashi-kun...w-what's the meaning of these luggages?"_

_Akashi raised his head and met his eyes, he saw him swallowed before he started to talk._

_"Tetsuya, I'm...moving out."_

_"Huh?"_

_"I'm sorry, I can't stay here with you anymore."_

_"W-why so...sudden?" his voice was so rigid he felt it like his words were thorns piercing his throat._

_"It's not sudden, I already decided this long ago."_

_"B-but...why?" Tetsuya's eyes had gone cloudy, but he tried to hurled it back he blinked. "What wrong did I do?"_

_"Nothing,"_

_"Then why are you leaving me? What's the reason? Is it because of Reo-san?"_

_"Reo...has nothing to do with this."_

_"THEN TELL ME, DAMN IT!!"  Tetsuya has finally reach his limit and he can't control his anger, he shouted at him at full forced._

_"Tetsuya...."_

_"I only love you, Akashi-kun..."_

_"I'm sorry but..." Akashi swallowed hard. "I d-don't l-love you...anymore. I'm really sorry," his voice was so soft that Tetsuya hardly understand it. Akashi stood up, took his luggage and with his last words, he left._

_"Good bye, please take care of yourself."_

_Tetsuya was speechless, flames_ _raced up from his stomach to his throat and ends to his hairlines. He felt like he was slapped on his face. Why did it come to this? What went wrong? Did his love for Akashi suffocated him?_

_"If...i-if there are things you wanted me to change, I will change it for you. If you want me to quit my part time job so that you can have me completely, I will quit right tomorrow. But please, don't do this to me."_

_But Akashi didn't say anything and continued walking out the door until he was totally out of sight. Tetsuya sagged slowly down the floor. He can't move, it's like his soul has separated from his body, he was shocked. His eyes were so hot that he wanted to cry but tears were dried up. He felt like his heart was struck by dozens of needles its hard to breath. He stayed there lost almost an hour, and when he came to his senses he decided to go and talk to him properly after Akashi will cool his head. He might give this relationship another chance._

_***************_

_A week has passed._

_After his work, Tetsuya planned to look for Akashi in his work place, he had gone there so many times and the guards already knew him. From those days, Akashi never called him once or messages him the least. He didn't come to the condo or even in his work place. Sure they were seeing at university but he never talked to him nor throw a single glance. But Tetsuya holds on and never give up. He needs an explanation, the real reason of breaking up with him. He wants an answer to all of his questions, he needs to know the truth because Tetsuya don't believe that Akashi has fell out of love from him. Six years gone steady wasn't easy to handle, not easy to forget._

_Sadness. Life is really unpredictable._

_Tetsuya cheered up himself by trying hard to smile. No matter what, he will drag Akashi back to his condo, to their home where they made a promise of living together till they gets old and grumpy. He gusted a quick laughed when he remembered how Akashi flushed red while having a pinky promise with him that time._

_Yeah, they were happy. Indeed._

_While walking across the pedestrian lane, his eyes caught the attention of the crowd gathering under the wide screen located at the wall of a commercial building. He heeled fast because the newsflash had Akashi's name written onto it. And he was 201% shocked of the news._

_......at 10:15 tonight, Akashi Seijuro will board the plane bound to New York. It was known that he was spotted by an international producer and our very own singer said that he'll try his luck internationally. He has also signed a contract under xxx for modelling their products. It seems that Akashi....._

 

_Tetsuya's mind went blank. He became deaf. What's only filtered inside his brain was that Akashi is leaving the country. Without telling him. Without explaining it to him. He trembled. His tear started to pour down, it doesn't make him less a man if he'll cry, right? Silently, he turned his back from the crowd. Tears obscurring his way, he settled and leaned his back in a wall. He covered his mouth not to let out his shaken voice. His heart felt cold, numb._

 

_That night, Tetsuya's heart stopped beating._

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

The dawn has already painted the eastern sky with thin, grey light when Tetsuya finally got to sleep. He doesn't have to worry since it's his day off, after typing the gathered data about the interview of Akashi yesterday night and send it to Satsuki through e-mail. He spent the whole damn night remembering his past with the said singer. None of his office mates had knew about it, oh yeah, there's one, Satsuki. When he moved out from Akashi's condo three years ago, through Satsuki he found a new apartment, the door next to hers actually and they were in the same class in school. And also through her he met Kise Ryouta, the famous basketball player of the university, Satsuki was their manager that time. The three of them became inseparable, they were the ones who cured his heart. Both of them knew how he suffered, and how he came back to life. It's all thanks to them for what is he now.

Destiny is not a plan but a game of chance, those years has been passed and all of the pains, sorrows and sad memories were long gone ease. Had those nightmares ignored him completely, he's now carrying on living as he run his feet out of love under his two important friends and as soon as he gets steady on his own, the past  was still a great pleasure from the moment all were set astride. And now that he's back, thinking of him brings back the familiar yet distant pain of their long separation. Distant, because it had been hardly several years.

But now is different. A peaceful weariness settled upon him heavily like a huge blanket, like all thorns inside him had completely gone.

A soft knock followed by a thin high pitched voice vibrated on his door. Tetsuya opened his eyes and shifted to the table clock, it illuminated almost ten in the morning. Slowly he sat upright from bed and snailed down out stretching his body, a wide yawn came out from his mouth.

Another knock sounded.

"Uncle Tetsuya!"

He chuckled. Here comes the brat.

Tetsuya shifted his weight from one foot to the other and then stood up and wounded towards the door, he passed through the living room and then opened the door.

"Good morning little head," he greeted and gave his most dazzling smile to the small boy. Though it's late morning, the gentle touch of sun light creeps through the door. It's a beautiful day to begin with, the sky was as blue as the ocean and the soft breeze was cool that held one hint of a chill.

"Let's go play, uncle!" the little boy said as he jumped and hugged the cerulean head.

"How many times did I told you not to do that, Shin. You are heavy, Uncle Tetsuya might not able to carry you anymore." Satsuki said to her two-year old son. She tried to pull him but Shin stick himself like a glue with Tetsuya.

"Don't worry, Momoi-san, he's not that so heavy and I can still carry him."

"That's why he always acted like that because you pampered him so much," she crossed her arms across her chest and pouted.

He laughed genuinely.

"Come inside, I just prepare myself and then let's go." he put down the little boy after he closed the door, mother and son sat on the couch as the thoroughbred house owner went to bath.

Not long after and Tetsuya finish preparing himself, they headed out. Tetsuya was carrying little Shin while Satsuki walked beside them, oh, they look like a happy family going out together. When they reached the parking lot, Satsuki looked for her mobile, scroll the contacts and when she found the name, she dialled.

"Someone might get jealous if he isn't here," she said winking.

Tetsuya smiled. "Yeah, knowing how childish that guy is, surely he'll sulk forever if he come to know we're going out without him." he bantered cheerfully.

While Satsuki talk to the phone, he settled Shin at the backseat making it sure the little boy is safe. He double check the seatbelt, then he throw himself on the driver's seat.

"Alright, he'll meet us in Kagami's cafè. Let's go," Satsuki ended the call and sat beside Tetsuya.

The three of them drive to the meeting place.

But unbeknownst to them, a pair of jealous orbs had tailed them until the car faded from the stranger's sight.

***************

"You're here," Tetsuya smiled casually to the guy leaning his back against the wall, he wears black shades to conceal himself from the public.

"Yeah, and how's our cute little Shin doing?" the famous cager ruffled the kid's fluffly hair.

"Uncle Ryouta," Shin greeted. Kise nodded earnestly.

"Let's go, I'm famish." Tetsuya said and headed first inside the coffee shop. Kagami Taiga, the owner greeted them.

"Yo," Kagami said.

"Long time no see, Kagamicchi."

"Idiot, you just came here yesterday with your team mates." Kagami snapped through.

Kise laughed as he scratched his head, blushingly shy.

"Busted," Satsuki conspiratorially mumbled.

"Kagami-san, please give us our usual orders." Tetsuya said.

"Alright,"

 

While waiting for their orders, Satsuki started a conversation Tetsuya has possibly wanted to avoid, but guess he can't escape.

"I've read the entertainment newspaper this morning," she started.

For a moment, there was silence aired. Then he exhibited a graceful smile before he speak.

"Yeah,"

"So, the bastard's back." Kise snorted one bit.

"What do you feel?" Satsuki ask.

"The truth?"

"Hmmm,"

"Well, honestly I'm happy that he's back." he played with his fingers.

"That's all?" Kise raised a brow, anticipating of bit seriousness in his voice.

"He's handsome as ever,"

"I'm handsome too!" Kise interludes.

"I know," Tetsuya grinned.

"I'm more handsome than that bastard, actually I'm the most handsome man in the world." Kise continued his adlibs.

"You're spouting non-sense again," Satsuki laughed.

"Well, Kise-kun is right." he chuckled. "Akashi is somewhat looking different now, no more the boyish look. He's more dignified. As a model, clothes of known brands suited him well, his shoulders are now broad with his hips narrow but lean. He also grew taller but not as tall as Kise-kun." then he laughed. He was shocked at his own thought, scrutinizing his appearance more carefully infront of his friends.

"I'm jealous," Kise sulked.

"He's well fit and healthy, robust even." Tetsuya continued neglecting Kise.

"You're hurting me, Kurokocchi...." the blond whispered, dramatically clenching his chest.

Satsuki stayed silent but in truth, she was observing him.

"I admit, when I heard that he's coming back, I was happy and excited to see him too! Actually, I wasn't supposed to be the one going in for the interview but I offered myself. But hearing him say he didn't have me and denied me completely, I was dismayed. I was hurt, its too painful. Its the same pain as it was three years back then when he broke up with me. He only shows that he wasn't worth those times I was with him." he sighed grimly. Deliberately he pushed those delightful thought at the back of his mind. There's no time for a flight of fancy now, he shook his head and return to compose himself.

"Are you saying that you regretted loving and living with him then?" Kise pugnaciously conjured.

"No. I didn't regret it. He's just a despicable rotten bastard, that's all."

"What do you feel for him now? Do you still like him?"

"I don't know...but I hate him for denying me. I felt like he condemn me dead." he scorned disparagingly.

None of the two state their opinion.

"Err...excuse me for interrupting your conversation but here's your orders."  Kagami appeared at the scene and carefully put down the platter. His eyes secretly swooning at the blond.

"Thanks, Kagamicchi" Kise said as he showered the shop's owner of his killer smile.

Kagami flushed, he turned his back quick.

"Too easy to read," the blond clicked.

"Don't play with him, Kise-kun." Tetsuya narrowed his eyes into jeweled slits as he smell the coffee. "This is perfect!" he said as his eyes gazed onto the thick black espresso with a thin film of foamed milk on top.

"Of course, our double macchiato is the most popular one." Kagami whispered as if he just uttered some life altering revelation to himself.

While Tetsuya was into it, Kise was drawn into his own thought. When Satsuki introduced them with each other, he was stunned by his supple look. He's luminous and fragile, he was struck by the so-called love at first sight. He couldn't believed it when he came to know that he was dumped and was left behind. He was there with Satsuki helping him forget his past, he let him feel that he wasn't alone. That there are still people who cares and love him, people who value his feelings, the importance of himself. It's just unfortunate to him that Tetsuya doesn't see him the way he look at him.

Nonetheless, he didn't regret it at all. At the very least, Tetsuya treat him as his friend (if not the best). He's happy that Tetsuya came back to life and live the same way they do. He just hope that it won't affect him now that the shithead Akashi Seijuro is back. He knew that there's still a spot on the bluehead's heart of that bastard and the only thing he could do is to protect him and to not let that guy cause Tetsuya pain again.

" _If I were you, Akashi Seijuro, I won't let go of this guy. I won't hurt him and I won't cause him any pain. It's just a shame that he was so  inlove with a heartless bastard like you."_

Kise sigh then drink his coffee in one gulp just to spit it out.

"Hot! Hot!" he scream as he fan his darted tongue with his hand.

Tetsuya and the others laughed at his stupidness.

 

While they're having fun eating their late breakfast, two heads were watching them. One has his eyes with intent envious, or could it be jealousy? And the other one sympathetically watching over his companion, though it was wrong to condemn that bluehead laughing there, still he felt sad for his friend.

"Now, what? What do you intend to do?" the shoulder length haired guy asked to his companion as his eyes observed the group inside the coffee shop.

"Nothing," the other guy replied as realization wormed his spine in a cold tingle. He draw in a deep breath but his throat ached and he felt like a huge rock was crushing his chest, he suddenly gone pale.

"We're off, remember you are not yet fully healed. Just take a rest for a while now, and if you really want to lessen that burden inside you, recover quick and then talk to him one last time. By the looks of them, they're a happy family."

"D-do you really think that....they are his...family? Wife and...his son?"

"Could it be," the other guy admitted.

"But I refused to accept,"

"Just let it go, I understand how you feel but..."

"I love him....I still love him..." he whispered.

"Sei-chan..."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon me for removing the tag KiKuro since they're one-sided relationship, I don't want KiKuro shippers to be lured by the tags. This is an AkaKuro fic tbh.
> 
> thank you!
> 
> A/N: to Lisa, I'm sorry dear I can't write a prompt that you were requesting. I'm really sorry, I don't ship AoKise....sorry=(


	6. Chapter 6

 

Four days ago.

His flight was one day earlier than what was supposed to be in order to avoid fans and the paparrazi. He's body was still weak from the operation he had a month ago, he wasn't allowed by his doctor nor his company to travel but Akashi insisted to come home. He was excited to be back again. He did not sign another contract with his agency because he decided to stay permanently here in his home country. If truth be told, him going internationally famous was not the real reason of why did he left Japan for three years.

It was a long journey.

For his entire life he had waited for that operation to come,  its not easy for him and for his family of what he had gone through. Being happy everyday, acting tough, looking healthy infront of other people, and playing his masquerade throughout, all of it he held them inside his heart. His weak heart. And he knew they won't understand him, they would think he's mean, an arrogant, and a horrible bastard. But never he did mind them. He really didn't care of what they were to say to him, of what they see him. All the things happened in the past, were all farce. Yet he made sure they were all true, particularly in front of the most important person in his life.

He never meant to hurt him, to cause him pain, to make him cry, but he has to. For what? He only think of protecting him, well, that was what he thought. He wanted Tetsuya to hate him, to despise him, to curse him. He did those things in the past so that Tetsuya will forget him quick, so that after he'll broke his heart Tetsuya will recover fast and find a new lover. A lover that will never leave him, someone who can stay with him until they'll grow old, someone who can share with him real happiness, someone who will never make him cry.

He left Tetsuya for not saying anything because he know he has no future with him, he can only cause the bluehead an endless heartache. He already accepted his fate. He knew he had less time left and that remaining time, he don't want Tetsuya see him in his most ugly condition.

_"Are you sure this is really what you want?" Reo asked him once more, his eyes showed pity._

_"Yeah, and don't look at me with those eyes. I don't want any pity coming from you," Akashi answered._

_"Although I wasn't serious when I told you about working internationally, the producer has taken a liking to your voice and style. But, don't you think its only right to tell him the truth?"_

_"No, this is better than letting him know my condition."_

_"But it's unfair,"_

_"I know. But I don't want to cause him pain anymore, and this is the best time to break up with him."_

_"Sei-chan..." Reo whispered._

_Akashi smiled bitterly. If only they could find a donor that will be compatible with him, it must be bliss._

_"By the way, did he not asked you the reason when you didn't go home within three days?"_

_"No, Tetsuya isn't someone who will ask until I will tell him myself." somehow, his heart softened thinking of how his Tetsuya was so soft to him in everything._

_"So, he didn't know that your illness attack you and that you were in the hospital."_

_"Yeah,"_

_"You're cruel,"_

_"I know that myself..." he whispered._

_He was also feeling pain when he turned his back at him, it felt heavy his feet doesn't want to walk away. He wanted to hug him, comfort him and love him instead. But if he won't do it now, then when?_

_He didn't glanced at him even once while walking out from the condo, he closed both ears so he won't hear his voice. He let himself feel numb and cold, heartless. And as his car drive away, for the first time in his life, his tears drop._

 

_Time flies._

_He was desperately struggling his life, even if the past two years and six months of fame and popularity, Akashi never felt the real meaning of happiness. He was like a mannequin that moves when ever his manager tell him to do so, when ever there's new project for him, or new album releases. He just did what they want him to do without any complaints. Why? His life is meaningless anyway, his health was sardonically going down. His body devastatingly deteriorates, he's becoming weaker as days go on._

_But his father hasn't lost hope yet. He's doing all he could so that Seijuro, his only son, will live longer. Until one day he thought that there's no more room for a hairbreath of happiness._

_Fortunately, there was one donor compatible with him. Masaomi didn't waste a single second and he grabbed the oppurtunity, a heart transplant._

_To cut the story short, the operation was a full success. And right a month after, Seijuro decided to return home here in Japan._

 

Reo was already in the airport waiting for him. After his operation a month ago, he went there to give support to his friend, oh yeah, they were fake lovers before infront of Tetsuya. Then he went back in Japan after a week because he has also responsibilities piled up as a model. When he first step on the ground, the very first thing he wanted to do was to see Tetsuya immediately. And Reo helped him find the bluehead.

But....

He saw Tetsuya carrying a beautiful kid in his arms, beside him was a girl he knows back then. Yes, that girl was Satsuki. She was the popular manager of the school's basketball team. He never imagined Tetsuya will end up to a girl and with her of all woman.

"Reo, did you purposedly let me see them?" he asked.

"No. I am surprised too, I didn't know about this."

"Let's go. Please send me to my father's house."

"Okay,"

He threw one more glance to the couple and let a heavy sighed out, does it seemed like his coming back is worthless.

*****

The gleam of the moonlight on the dark water of the fountain illuminated more than the expanse of pacific ocean, Akashi and Reo were sitting seriously unsmiling in the bright glare of the porch light.

Akashi overturned his last card while Reo dealt himself his own trump, the ace of clubs, as he looked to his opponent's eyes.

"You lost!" Reo sneered.

"Huh, again?" Akashi's stern concentration wavered as a grim took over his featutes. He noticed the same trick Reo was using but his mind wasn't really paying attention on the game.

"You're not in, there's no way you could lost." Reo commented as he sloped down his chair.

Akashi smiled silently allowing the sense of calm and peace to seep inside and about him, but its rather less comforting.

"Anyway, your interview has been set on the tomorrow night and you have your first appearance on the show before it. Had you chose the song you've to sing?" Reo asked.

"Yes," simply he replied.

"But is it really okay? You're not suppose to work soon, your wound might open it's still fresh."

"I'm fine so you don't have to worry." he answered in an off handed manner as he exhaled.

A few minutes stretched between them. Daintly, Akashi sigh in lisp.

"Let's retire for now, Sei-chan. You have to take a good rest tonight, remember you have a hectic day tomorrow and please, don't think much about him." Reo's voice lowered in an advice.

 

But for him to deny Tetsuya on his interview, he felt he was really a big asshole. Its true that the song was for him, he originally composed that song for the purposed of reuniting with him. It just so sudden that he spouted those words without thinking and now he is regretting it. What if Tetsuya was watching the show? Or what if he'll read the entertainment news? Will his hatred towards him reach hell? Or maybe, its already there from the beginning.

And now looking at him with his companions sharing foods together, he was supposed to be in that place instead of those people. He was supposed to be the one smiling happily and the one recieving that smile.

"Are you really married, Tetsuya?" he asked himself. "Was there really no chance of us together again?"

"Sei-chan...do you want to know if he's really married or not? We can ask this company he is working at."

Akashi looked at Reo and down to the newspaper he was holding.

"What company?"

Reo showed him the said paper.

"Ah, so he still works at same company as before."

"Then, let's go?"

"But what if its true?"

"Accept it, that's the easiest thing you can do."

"Tell me, Reo. Was my decision back then wrong?"

"Right or wrong, it was already done and you can no longer return it back. I told you, ask for forgiveness and loosen your heart. Explain to him everything, even if he's really married now, at least both of you will be free from the past."

"I'll do that."

Reo drive the car away from the coffee shop. Akashi have lots of time, and he promise to himself that he can be his true self from now on.

And accept to himself that Tetsuya and him will never get together again in the future.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

Tetsuya instinctively unhitched a button on his poloshirt and seized a string of golden beads in his table drawer and slowly played between his fingers. Despite the swelling inflammation of his ex-lover's comeback in the country, he felt a roll of inertia has been peeled off him. When he decided to let go of the past, he became more alive than he has been in years. Unlike his usual days of taking phonecalls, sending fax and e-mails, proofreading and editing his subordinates' articles, thinking of upcoming news they have to write, burning his eyes infront of the computer all day, these things seems like so easy for him to do now that his mind is clear and free. As if he was freed from his cage.

He lifted up his hands for a long and winding yawn, stretching his body as he slope down his chair. Breathing exasperately, there's no room for thinking about that man anymore.

"Chief," one of the editors came in.

Tetsuya looked at him. "Yes, Kei?"

"Director Chiyo has summoned you in her office now,"

"Okay," he stood up and quickly leave the room.

Kei sat down on his chair as he piled up the papers he was holding a while ago.

"Do you know why director Chiyo called the chief?" Satsuki asked.

"Not sure about it but I heard, singer/model Akashi Seijuro asked for an interview and it seems like he wants the one who wrote the article about him in our page weeks ago."

"What??? Is that true?"

"I said I'm not sure yet,"

"But why he chose our company?"

"Isn't that good? Our rating may go up for sure,"

"Yeah, sure but...." Satsuki couldn't tell him the truth.

"Hmmm? Article means money, so why the worry face?" Kei raised his brows.

"Oh, it's nothing." she smiled and refocus her eyes on the computer screen. Her mind filtered questions about it, why would that model chose them? And why Tetsu-kun? Did he knew Tetsu-kun is working here? What's his intentions? Is he thinking of hurting him again? Didn't he denied Tetsu-kun before? So, why?

A few minutes later, the glass door swung to open, Tetsuya came in with a bright smile. He looked as if he just finished an exhilarating business with the director.

"Chief?"

"Oh, Kei, I have a good job for you." Tetsuya started.

"Good job?" Kei echoed.

"Yes, I recommended you to the director to do the interview with Akashi-san this afternoon at 3."

"Me?"

"Hmm, so start to choose good questions for him now. The venue will be at the conference hall, you don't need to be formal. And be on time," he ruminated a smiled at him before he settled on his chair.

Kei excitedly turn his chair, face the monitor and started his drafts of questions for the famous singer.

"Hey, Tetsu-kun." Satsuki whispered. "I thought you're the one to interview him?"

"I am but I declined. And he doesn't seem to know that I was the one who wrote that article," Tetsuya answered in whisper too.

"He doesn't know? But Kei said he specifically chose you,"

"Director Chiyo said that Akashi-kun would like to do the job with the person who's initials are K.T. and I'm not the only one who has that. She said Akashi-kun wants to meet that reporter,"

"So that's why you recommended Kei because you have same initials."

"Yes, Kei can just pretend he was the one who wrote that."

"What did the director said?"

"Nothing, as long as we have an exclusive interview with him, that's more important."

"I see,"

*****

 

Akashi paced out momentarily, he was already at the parking lot of the building where Tetsuya was working. He looked at his watch and he came earlier about thirty minutes before the interview. He thought of it a lot with the passing days, he decided to follow what had Reo advised him to do. He has to confirm it now so he can rest his heart and mind completely for thinking things. The interview was just an alibi so that he can have a proper talk with him. Besides, thinking takes too much energy which explains why he feels so tired of late.

"Are you ready?" Reo who sits beside him ask.

"Yeah,"

"Let's go." Both of them came out from the car and headed to the main entrance of the building.

Because they were earlier than the set time, the employees were bit surprised. Years ago, as a bossy youth he had learned to compensate for his fine-dusted nose and his crimson hair with flirtatious smile, and his "friendliest howdy's" were being answered by hundred shoulders and fleeing sights. Now, he learned to handle them.

"Excuse me, good afternoon." Reo greeted the receptionist.

"Good afternoon, sirs!"

"Can you tell director Chiyo that Akashi Seijuro is looking for him?"

"Right away sir," and the lady dial the numbers connecting to the director directly. A few seconds and she was smiling leading them to the director's office.

"Thank you," Akashi said when they reached the office. The lady left and returned to her post.

"Akashi-san!" the director exclaimed when they entered the room. "You're here too, Reo-san. Please have a sit."

"Thank you, this guy asked me to accompany him today. Sorry for my intrusion," Reo smiled. Both of them sat, they were facing her.

"We're too early, since we were at nearby place and we don't have anywhere to go so we came instead." Akashi said as if he was explaining though the director didn't ask anything.

"That's alright. We can take a walk around the building if you want," she invited.

"Is it okay?"

"Yes, verily."

The director lead them to the other offices, employees greeted them as expected, some were swooning over them. Until they pass by the editing department.

Through the glassdoor, Akashi has seen Tetsuya who was visibly notice outside of the room. He felt a light thump in his heart but suddenly died when he shifted his eyes and saw Satsuki walking towards the bluehead.

_Oh, they're working together in the same room._

"This is the editorial room," director Chiyo wakes him. "We can go inside and greet them, and by the way, the reporter who will interview you later is still inside." she said as she opened the door.

The editing staff was surprised when the three of them entered the room.

"Hey, is it time for the interview?" Akashi heard one of them whispered to another.

"Not yet, maybe director just showing them around the building" the other answered.

But Akashi's eyes has set at one particular person, Tetsuya, who was obviously avoiding their eyes to meet.

"Good afternoon, Akashi-san, Reo-san, director Chiyo."

"Yeah, I'm just showing them around. But since it's ten minutes before the actual interview, maybe we can head to the conference room now to prepare." Chiyo said.

"It was already prepared, director."

"That's good,"

"Hello Akashi-san, I'm Kei Takada. I'll be incharge of the interview."

"Huh? Were you the one who wrote that article back then?"

"You mean the article written on the entertainment news?"

"Yes. I thought that was Kuroko Tetsuya,"

"Oh, you know each other?" Chiyo asked him, surprised. "Was that the reason why you asked to go then, Tetsuya-kun?"

Tetsuya cleared his throat. "You got it wrong, director. I didn't go because I asked for it. I went to that conference because Kei was busy on that night. And I don't know him personally, I just merely known him because of that conference." Tetsuya straightly slammed his words to his ears.

"I thought you knew each other,"

"No."

While Akashi has gone pale.  _So, this is how Tetsuya felt when I deny him during that conference. God, it's painful._

Reo was observing, and he saw through how the redhead was hurt. But Reo understand Tetsuya why he denied him. It was too obvious, revenge? Perhaps.

"Anyway, let's head to the conference room. It's almost time."

"Yes, sir!"

And all headed there.

A few minutes, Kei started the interview.

"To start this talk, Akashi-san, can you lend us one of your song?" Kei smiled as he flipped the drafts he prepared.

The other employees who were allowed there to listen giggled, some were dramatically  plummeted on their seats.

One of them handed him a guitar, and as he started to thrum the strings, everybody has gone silent. And the room was filled with a melodious, smooth and soft voice of Akashi.

 

_Shadows fill an empty heart,_

_as love is fading_

_from all the things that we are,_

_but are not saying_

_Can we see beyond the scars,_

_and make it through the dawn_

_change the color of the sky,_

_and open up to_

_the ways you made me feel alive_

_the ways I loved you_

_for all the things that never died_

_to make it through the night_

_Love will find you....._

 

The song has ended and everyone was mesmerized, the music seemed to penetrate the soul. His voice was amazing while he gently played the guitar. His style was so melodious it makes one's heart skip, his voice can change the atmosphere around him.

Akashi handed back the instrument to one staff and faced Kei.

He speaks. "Before we start the interview, can I have a request?"

"Sure," Kei said.

"I want Tetsuya do the interview, will you let him?"

Kei couldn't answer, it's not that he can't answer him, its that, it depends on their editor-in-chief. He looked at the bluehead with uncertain expression written on his face.

"Chief?"

Tetsuya nodded. He needn't have to hesitate, there's nothing wrong. He stood up and sat on the chair where Kei left empty. He scroll over the draft Kei prepared and he almost  clicked upon reading some questions he didn't want to hear an answer. He cleared his throat before he started bombarding him with questions.

"How have you been Akashi-ku---san? Surely you have to adjust again with the weather here and of course, the flow of the entertainment industry in our country."

Crap. He almost stammer.

But Akashi noticed the slipped of his tongue, he smiled.

"Yeah, but I'm fine." simply he replied.

"I see. What are your plans in the future? Had you decided what recording company will release it?"

"Yes, I signed already a new contract with my old recording company since I am used to mingle with them and the employees and staffs were still the same. I don't have any difficulty working with them, I supposed. My new album is under process so releasing would be so soon."

"You have the same manager then,"

"No. She is handling another singer, and I requested Reo to be my manager from now on."

"Reo.....san? But isn't he a model?"

"He already quit,"

"Ah.....speaking of modelling, do you intend to continue here?"

"Yes, as long as they want me to endorse their product, why not?"

"Do you live with your family?"

"No. I am staying at my new condo."

"What about your old condo?"

"It was abandoned..."

Tetsuya suddenly halted. What was he thinking asking something like that?

Satsuki on the other hand asked Kei. "Kei-kun, did you wrote those questions?"

"No. I wonder why the chief was asking him not in the list. And if you listen carefully, it looks like this is a conversation of two people who met again after a long years of separation. They talk casually," Kei replied.

And murmurs among the other employees arises, speculations had in their minds.

"Aren't you gonna ask about my love life?" suddenly, Akashi asked him something Tetsuya wouldn't want to ask.

"Huh?" he swift. "Pardon, but that's too personal. I don't have the right to ask--"

"It's fine. I am fully prepared to answer what ever you will ask me."

"Then...do you have someone special as of now?"

"I do," Akashi whispered. "But unfortunately,  he's married, I think."

"Married? I remember you said before that you had no lover," the director interrupted when Tetsuya didn't have a follow-up question.

"That was....a lie."

Kei, the reporter in his blood fired up. "Then, do you mind telling us the truth?"

Akashi glanced first at Tetsuya as if he was asking his permission, then he look back at Kei.

But before he could spill a word, Tetsuya speaks.

"Don't!" he frantically said.

Everybody was shocked of his reaction.

"Chief?"

"Tetsu-kun!"

All eyes turned at him.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

All eyes set on him.

"Tetsuya-kun?" Chiyo stared at him strangely. "What do you mean "don't"?"

Tetsuya reclined back to the ergonomically engineered chair, turning his eyes away as he himself serendipitously acting weird.

"What I mean was....uhm...d-don't ask him so easily such matters, those are personal things that he keep to himself." he rattled.

"But he said it's fine, right, Akashi-san?"

"Yes, you can ask whatever you want to know."

"See?"

Tetsuya pulled back his tongue.

"To start with," Akashi speaks. "I lied before. Its true, I wrote that song thinking only of him. I had a lover before I left the country and I want to take this oppurtunity to apologize to the public for not telling the truth. I came back because of him, well, he's not the sole reason but he's a big part of it. I wanted to talk to him, to clear everything with him, I'm not one to talk and asking for forgiveness is too late. But I want to start a new with him, I want us to become friends."

"Because he's married?"

"I...think so. I'm not sure about it,"

"Is it fine to tell us the name of your ex?"

"Sorry, I can't. He's a simple person and I'm sure he wouldn't want it. I don't want to drag him out in this issue either, I just want to let him know that I am sincere in what I am saying. For all the heartaches that I've caused him, I'm sorry. I hope he has a good and happy life now." Akashi said half smiled.

"That's too bad but we respect your decision, the important matter is you let the public know the truth and that's enough." Chiyo turned to Tetsuya. "Is there anymore in your list?"

Tetsuya shook his head. "No more, ma'am." he said gingerly but he was a bit relieved that Akashi didn't spoke of him anything.

"So, good job everyone!" Chiyo exclaimed with her finger sticking up in the air.

"Thank you," Akashi said though he's a little frustrated that his assumption of Tetsuya being married wasn't successfully proven. But he can still have a string of hope that he could talk to him personally after the interview, maybe he can ask a favor from Lady Chiyo.

As everyone cheerfully sashayed out of the conference hall, Akashi was smiling all ears because he got okay from the director.

"Tetsuya-kun, leave the rest of work to your subordinates. Come with me in my office,"

"Yes, ma'am."

But as they trailed near her office, the director ordered him to go in first. "By the way, Akashi-san is inside. While waiting for me, please accommodate him so that he won't get bored." And she left.

Half open mouth, Tetsuya entered the office.

Akashi was standing near the window and when he heard the door swung to open, he turned his back. "Tetsuya," he felt a bit excited seeing him a while ago and talking with him as the bluehead lively kick him words per words.

"Madam Chiyo has ran an errand for a while, wait for her and just bear with me."

"That's alright. I actually asked her to let me talk to you in private," Akashi said.

Tetsuya jerked his head towards him. "Why you!" he accused.

But Akashi swept a boyish grin onto his face. "Sorry, I was desperate to seek an answer for my assumption of you."

"What do you want?" his voice vibrated coldness, sailed as dull as the grey color of the dawn.

Akashi coughed to clear his throat. "As I said in the interview, I wanted to clear everything with you."

"I'm not forgiving you, if you asked me of forgiveness." he slapped his words piercingly.

The redhead turned white and rigid, though he expected it hundred percent that Tetsuya won't forgive him. But seeing him coldly speaks, he's rather seemed the same as before as his eyes glared at him. Akashi still remember that the feature of Tetsuya that downright stole his breath away was his two fiery jewels of doe-like eyes.

And right now, those eyes were freezing into him as if he were Satan's own messenger which wasn't that far from the truth.

"I expected you would say that," he casually agreed. "Won't you asked me the reason why I left?"

"I don't care of your reasons anymore."

Akashi's smile vanished in an instant and his eyes had taken on a steel set belied his face. Hearing him say those words makes his heart felt in pain but he restrained himself from defending knowing that the best course of action would be simply wait for a moment for him to calm down. "Even so, I want you to hear it."

"I'm not hearing it, snapped it out Akashi-kun!" Tetsuya glanced over his shoulder, his eyes even when they're filled with different emotions and even as now when he wasn't looking, for some reason it made his skin crawl. "And what's this marriage thing you were blabbering about? Or were you even referring me as your ex-lover?"

Guilty as he was, Akashi whispered. "Yes,"

"You are....ridiculous! Why would you think that?"

"Because on the day I first arrived here in Japan, I saw you with that pinkhaired woman and you were carrying a child. Anyone would thought you looked like a happy family,"

"You of all people should know my preference...."

"I was wrong, but I came back to right my mistakes. I want to make up all things with you, Tetsuya....I still love you," Akashi said.

"Is that so? Well, thank you, that's good!"

"Does that mean...?"

"Is what I want to say....but I am over you."

"Tetsuya--"

"Excuse me but we're done talking, and please don't ever appear infront of me again. Don't even look for me, or message and call me because I won't answer any of it. Don't waste your time to me, I want to say it clear to you, Akashi-kun...again, I have no feelings towards you anymore." and then Tetsuya march back and leave the room.

Akashi was left stunned speechless. It was his first time to experienced being dump and the very first time Tetsuya turned his back from him. He never thought how painful it would be, how his heart clenching very badly. Even if he can't see it, he knows that his heart is bleeding.

If this is how Tetsuya felt that time, the pain he inflicted, he understands if his hatred towards him reach hell. But he won't give up now that he found he wasn't married yet. He'll do everything to win his heart again.

*********

Akashi stared down at the shogi board for half a minute before moving his knight two squares forward and one to the right. Even if he has cleared the staunch bishop that has dutifully guarding his opponent's king, he has no full energy to play against Reo to be honest. But because the shoulder length haired guy insisted so he played along.

"Checkmate," he announced.

Reo sighed. "Never knew a knight has this power to capture a king." he said cryptically as he crossed his arms above his chest and leaned over the seat rest.

"Your bishop is energetic but is an inflexible fool," Akashi agreed with a metaphor clearly in his brain. As if choreographed, he shoved down all the remaining pieces standing on the board.

"But honestly, I can never beat you in this game even how much down and dejected looking you are."

"Do I really look like that?"

"Yes," Reo sucked in deep breath as his eyes wide enough to trap gaze of him. "Anyway, how's your score with Tetchan."

Changely inconstant as the wind, Akashi's nosetrils slightly flare and his eyes wary and turbulent with huge emotion, agitated.

"He's stubbornly untame." he mumbled as he steepled like a sullen lump under his chair.

"Expected," Reo's mouth is itching to have a smoke but he couldn't do it when the redhead's around. "I understand him that much," he added.

"It's been three months," Akashi plays his finger on the table top by tapping it as if like he was playing keyboards. "The more I appear infront of him, the more he dig his way out just to avoid me. It really sucks."

"What do you mean?"

"He purposely asked assignments that were out of town," he chuckles and smile sadly. "As if I am a disease carrier..."he shake his head right to left slow-mo.

"So he's not in Tokyo right now," Reo beats a short laugh. "No wonder you're sulking almost the entire time."

"The agent I hired to tail him said he's coming back tonight." as the timing is right, his phone ring. He takes it out and answer.

"How was it?" he asked after a short greeting with the person in the other side.

...

...

"He's home?" Akashi glance quickly at the wallclock, it's barely seven in the evening. "Alright. You can rest home now, I'll see you tomorrow for the full payment." and he ended the call.

He stand up and take his coat. He grabs the car key that is resting on the table.

"Where're you going?" Reo suspectedly asked.

"It's still early, I'll be going in his apartment." he replied while rushing out to his car park. "Take care of the house, I'll be back later." he quipped and slammed the door shut close. Reo sighed in amusement.

"That guy," he whispered as he throw himself down on the couch.

**********

It has been thirty minutes Tetsuya was in his home slacking on his little sofa. It's a very tiring drive. After his week travel to Nagoya, he's finally having a peaceful rest starting tonight. Oh yeah, he almost forgot. Kise arranged a dinner date with him at Kurosaki Restaurant at exactly nine o'clock. The clock on the side table glares 7:45, he has still one hour and fifteen minutes to prepare.

Energetically, he rise to his feet and wound his way to his room fuming quietly and contendedly. As he holds the knob going to his bedroom, the doorbell chimes.

"Kise? But it's too early," he said to himself and turn 180 to open the door. He's not expecting anyone other than the cager to come tonight.

His ready smile halted mid-air when he opened the door.

"Good evening," the person outside greeted.

But Tetsuya quickly pushed the door to closed.

To his reflexes, the person outside stretch his feet and stuck it in the threshold. Tetsuya could hear him wince in pain once the panel hit the person's leg and push inexorable inward until the door is completely open.

"What do you want? And why are you here again?" Tetsuya irritatingly glares at him.

"You know what I want, Tetsuya."

"Go back, Akashi-kun. We have nothing to say to each other anymore. How I wish you never come back,"

"Listen to me, Tetsu--"

"Please leave," Tetsuya said dismissively in his trembling voice, ignored him and this time, he has completely slammed the door shut.

Outside, having his nose nearly smash by the panel door wasn't the worst scenario but it was the fact that Tetsuya hurriedly pushing him away as if he had sprouted horns and tail. He was shocked by his actions, no more the soft and calm Tetsuya he once knew. No more the submissive and loving bluehead he once loved, no, he never stop living him. Before, he always ignored and never fussed over minor maladies and forged ahead with his business. But Tetsuya's acts now promptly reminded him practically that reuniting with him again seems impossibility.

A chain of soft laugh sounded behind him, Akashi tilted his head.

"Kise Ryouta," he vibrated.

"That's a big shame having turned down by a mere commoner," the blond speaks.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ara? That's supposed to be my line, Akashi Seijuro."

"I often come here," he replied.

"Heh? And what does the infamous singer doing outside the house of  _my boyfriend?"_

Akashi twitched. "Boyfriend?"

"Oh, my little kitten didn't tell you?" Kise asked. "Excuse me, you're blocking my way." Kise yank his hand inside his pocket and then brings out a key. He insert the key in the hole and then turn it down.

_Spare key?_

"Are you two...living together?" Akashi crossed two fingers, anticipating a bomb into his ears. His heart palpitates.

Kise smirks. "You wanna know?" he glance at him sideward. "Then, I'll tell you."

Akashi stops breathing. He swallowed airless, hoping he hears opposite of what he is assuming.

"Well, Tetsuya and I are--"

The door suddenly opened.

"Kise-kun?" Tetsuya huffed. "And why are you still here?" his eyes glares at the redhead.

But Kise didn't give the redhead a chance to speak. "Are you ready?" he asked Tetsuya.

"Not yet, I was about to take a bath when I heard some noise outside my door."

"Alright. Go and bathe, I'll wait you in the living room." Kise push him inside and then face Akashi. "If you don't have any business with my boyfriend anymore, you can leave now, Akashi Seijuro."

Akashi just stared at him, his mind was mentally muttering words which he couldn't voice out.  _Tetsuya is bathing and this blond will be waiting inside the living room. Only the two of them._

"Do I need to usher you out to your car?" Kise knocks him with his words.

"No need." he answered and leave.

"Akashi Seijuro, just an advise. Tetsuya and I are inseparable, even you can't break us apart. Keep that in mind."

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

Tetsuya smiles up at the baffled expression on Kise's face as the cager ran his fingers through his hair as blond as sinner's dream. Kise, same age of him, is too handsome and probably well aware of it himself, and Tetsuya knew it's where the blond gets his confident. He can't deny that fact though, it's just so sad he can not bring himself to reciprocate the feelings Kise has been offering him. He's too kind and soft towards him that sometimes he thought he was pampered by him all over more than a lover could. And he just can't hurt this man, he's too afraid to lose him as a friend. Many times he tried to teach his heart to accept Kise, not a friend but as his other half, and everytime he tried to answer and give him the thing he wanted, suddenly his tongue summersaults and instead just brushed it off.

At the moment they just finish watching a movie and going out from the theatre en route to their next pitch when a group of teenagers block their way. Kise is a famous basketball player and sometimes posing advertisements for sport's wear. After he was announced for the third time as the MVP of the last game conference, more fans flock around him. Kise is just too down to his feet and never change at all. The Kise during their university days, is still the same. Jolly.

"Kise-san, can we have your autograph please?" a blushing young lady in her sweet sixteen stretch her hand with her handkerchief.

Kise raise his hand and take it. "Kurokocchi, you have a pen?"

"Yeah," he said and look for it in his small bag hanging around his shoulder.Then handed it to him.

Kise patiently gave his autograph to the young ladies and smiles at them after he's done. They're about to dug their heels east when another voice boomed out from right behind them. Naturally, they glance backward and halted midstride.

"Yo," said a raven haired guy, half an inch shorter than Kise.

"Oh, what do we have here. If it's not the famous model Reo Mibuchi and the internationally popular Akashi Seijuro. Just of our luck to have meet them here," Kise sprouted words as leery as spring rain.

While Tetsuya was silent and still, slowly holds Kise's left arm as if borrowing some strength. Casually, Kise lend his arm to him.

On the other hand, Akashi saw an image that brought back a score of memories when Tetsuya and him were lovers back then. And he felt his heart froze tighter than a spigot during winter. That arm supposed to be his, and the one standing beside the bluehead supposed to be him. Is it really too late for him? Is it time to give him up?

 _No._  His heart scream. _Don't give up_. Fight for what is yours from the beginning.

"You two....are too good to be true." Reo quipped.

"And what do you mean by that?" Kise asked.

But Reo answered with a request. "Mind having meal with us?"

"Sure," without second thought Kise said. Tetsuya is about to protest but Kise suddenly lowered down his face and give him a quick peck on his forehead.

Opposite to Tetsuya's face that has gone red, Akashi almost his face soaked in vinegar.  _Shit. This blond is too showy, is he doing it purposely to stir me?_

"It's fine, right?" Kise asked the bluehead.

Tetsuya couldn't embarrass the blond infront of them, he nodded slowly, still flustering though.

Kise let go of Tetsuya's hand. He hang his hand around his shoulder instead. "Shall we go, then?"

And they were all gone for a meal.

**********

Each of them sit back in the comfortable wooden chair behind the mahogany table good for four person. No one has yet to open up a conversation, it seems they are too precautious to spill words that may ruin the already awkward air. Kise looked as confident as a peer of the realm on his bad days, but he could be the star of tonight. Blessed the silence, its satisfying they could hear the spoons and forks and chopsticks move through their own plates. Kise secretly observe down the expanse of the dining hall just to see Tetsuya throwing glares critically at the oblivious singer. Or was he not? He frowned. That asshole really pisses him off for staying calm. It was unnerving echoing his thoughts.

"The foods here are delicious," instead of sulking on his own, Kise tried to cheer up.

"Seems so" Tetsuya agreed.

"We come here often," Reo inquired as he sipped his thick lobster soup. "This lamb cutlets with asparagus taste good too. And this oyster patties, I like it very much."

"I love the stewed mushrooms though," Tetsuya a bit awed of the food.

The environment filled with tense when out of the blue Akashi shove a sea-kale on Tetsuya's plate. "This one too, I know you like this." he said eyes lingers brightly.

Tetsuya swallowed. What to do?

But Kise wouldn't like to be defeated. He use his chopsticks and takes a clove of broccoli and turn to Tetsuya. "Take this one too, Kurokocchi." he smiled at him. "Now, open your mouth."

Tetsuya couldn't say one word. What are these two guys doing?

"Come on, don't be shy. These two guys wouldn't mind, right, A-ka-shi-cchi?" and he smiled lopsidedly at the redhead.

Akashi smirk. "But that's too bad, Kise Ryouta."

"Hmm?"

"Tetsuya doesn't like broccoli," he snorts.

Kise halted one heap. "Aw, that's too embarrassing. I don't even know what my little kitten doesn't like,"

"It's fine!" Tetsuya abruptly blurted out. "I can eat it, Kise-kun." he said and fainted a smile.

"Tetsuya, you know that--" Akashi said.

"It's alright, Akashi-san. People change, and I'm not an exemption." Tetsuya holds Kise's hand holding the chopsticks and shove the broccoli in his mouth.

Reo on the side shrugged off, amusingly observing the three. "Do you want one, too, Sei-chan?" he breaks off and tried to shove his chopsticks with broccoli in Akashi's mouth.

"No, thanks." he glided his head.

And they continue eating silently.

After a few minutes, Tetsuya put down his chopsticks together with the spoon on his plate and push it away from him.

"You ate less," Kise said.

"I'm full," Tetsuya replied as he wiped his lips with the table napkin. He cannot tell to the cager that the broccoli has somehow one cause in losing his appetite. "Excuse me, I'm going to the men's room."

"You ruined his tongue," Akashi blamed the blond when Tetsuya was gone.

"Don't act as if you still know him," Kise replied. "He's not the same person once you knew."

"We were together for eight years and a person can't change that much in only three years. Maybe his feeling for me changes, but the real him, I doubt that."

"Believe whatever you think, that's the only thing you can do now anyway." Kise responded as he grabbed his glass of water and drank from it. Then he wiped his mouth insinuating that he finished eating.

Akashi did the same. After that he stand, " I'm going to the men's room," he said with a self-satisfied smirk on his face, he knew Kise was pissed.

Kise on the other hand don't feel happy of anything that comes out from the singer's mouth. He just hates his guts.

"I stand six feet two inches on my bare feet but I never saw someone as cool as you in my entire life, Mr. MVP." Reo break the awkward stalemate when Akashi has completely gone.

Kise laughed rough but didn't say anything. Reo continued.

"Are you sure to let them stay alone in the men's room?"

"Yeah," Kise answered.

"You're too confident letting your guard down,"

"I trust him. That's all," But in his mind, Kise didn't have a hundred percent confidence at all. Tetsuya is acting calm but he knows that behind those eyes, he can feel that he's still longing for the redhead's love. He's just afraid to accept the truth.  _This really sucks, but I'm too scared of the thought those two will make up. It hurts, but I can't force him to love me back._

Reo stayed silent.

"Please excuse me, I need to go men's room." Kise stand up and left Reo alone in their table.

"Hmmmm....I love to go too, I wanna see what will happen. But, he-he... I wonder how will Tetsuya-chan handles those two." Reo dangerously dance a smile along his face while his eyes tailing the fading back of the basketball player.

 

Meanwhile, Tetsuya has finish and washing his hands on the sink. After barfing for a couple of minutes, he felt some relief though his stomach still swirling inside he can hold that up. It's not like he'll get sick with just one piece of broccoli. But is sure Akashi still remembers what foods he like and what he doesn't, it made him a bit happy. He smiled thinking how Kise and Akashi acted like children infront of him, of him and Reo. And that guy, he wonders why he's so calm and cool. Didn't those two have an affair behind him before? He saw them kissing not only once or twice, and why now Reo is friendly with him? What exactly is their relationship?

"Why don't I feel any grudge towards Reo-san?" he mumbled. He put his wet hands under the machine dryer after washing them, then look at the mirror and fix his hair. He was about to turn his back when he heard the door opened and then closed. Click!

_Huh? Who lock the door? And why?_

To answer his question, two hands leaned on the sink counter and imprisoned his waist in between. He felt the sturdy body pinning him and the warm breath brushing the right side of his face and ear.

"Are you alright?" whispered the person behind him.

Tetsuya look at the mirror and stared at their reflection. He's immobile. He can't talk.

"Swallowed your tongue, sweetheart?"

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

"Excuse me, I'm going to the men's room." Tetsuya stand up from his seat and leave the three guys. He had a sudden and stark realization, how did it happen he was eating dinner with Akashi and Reo while he's with Kise with his shirt wide open.

On his way to the men's room he felt his throat dry and itchy. It must be the cause of the broccoli Kise had him ate. He yank his hand on his coat pocket if he has candy left but his fingers found none. "I need to smoothen my throat, is there a vendor outside?" he murmurred and pivoted to the exit door. He saw one man on the other side of the street, he decided to ran after him and buy one.

He didn't see Akashi who is going to the men's room too.

When Akashi has reach the men's room, his eyes instantly look for the bluehead but he's not in, or maybe he's inside of the cubicles. He went through to one of the empty cubicle and did his thing, not long after he heard the creak sound of the door. Then he heard someone's throwing out.

"As I thought," his mind said. "...I knew this will happen Tetsuya, why did you forced yourself to eat something you knew that will make you feel uncomfortable?" he whispered worriedly. He faster finish his thing and zip and button his jeans, then he went out of the cubicle.

Akashi halted and stayed behind the door half open when the entrance door creak open and close followed by the sound of click. Someone locked the door. He push the panel fully open and his gaze steady unnerving to the man newly crept in. His hands instantly drop to his sides clenching and he felt as though every bit of his energy has slip and drain away from his body. He wanted to speak but his voice run dry along his throat.

 

"Are you alright, Kurokocchi?" the warm breath of Kise brush his face. Tetsuya felt his flesh flamed, quickly he craned his eyes up to look at him on the mirror but instead, he met the burning reflection of two heterochromatic orbs behind them rigid still.

 _Crap. What to do?_ A knot swell in his throat.

"Swallowed your tongue, sweetheart?" Kise again whispered, now right under his neck and teasingly blow it.

Tetsuya shivered. He made a series of incomprehensible hand motions and in the end helplessly put them down on the sink counter edge, on top of Kise's hands. 

Which made the blond smile. Finally, he raised his head and tried to capture Tetsuya's eyes on the mirror only to be baffled up and caught awkwardly between the battling gazes of his little kitten and the jerk Akashi Seijuro behind them. Kise change their hand's position, now his on top of Tetsuya's soft and cottony hands. He inserted his own fingers to him and gripped, tight but gentle. Then he speaks.

"Are you going to use the sink?" his words are directing to the singer as their eyes met. "Sorry if we are on your way," Kise pulled Tetsuya away from the sink and hauled him towards the door. He won't let this two have a chance to be alone together, he might not know what will happen.

Before they could slip out through the door, once again Tetsuya take a glance at the redhead whose eyes are still tailing them and when their eyes met, Akashi cock his brow at him, the sort of making one to spill a secret without hesitation. Tetsuya averted his, shakes his head to push away that damn uncertain feelings. He should not. If possible, he should not begin to harbour such thought. He had had enough.

Kise decided to bring him back to his apartment and Tetsuya has just nod in ten deep strokes, leaving the redhead inside of the men's room, muted. And until they reach his apartment Kise didn't radiate his own thoughts to Tetsuya since he hadn't really thought all that much about anything, as long as the bluehead stays calmly beside him for now, that's all that matters.

 

**********

It's exactly fourteen straight days since Tetsuya has been recieving a bunch of flowers with a dedication card on it together with a box of chocolate, sometimes it's a cake and his favorite flavour with such matter. The thought is very warm and the person sending him is passionate, Tetsuya postulated. He knows what Akashi wants, claiming his heart once again. And it's really hard for him to just ignore this kind of gesture from Akashi since this thing has never once happened to him before, that redhead was too proud of himself back then.

"Why are you doing this now, Akashi-kun? What's exactly running in your mind?" his whisper was childish, almost descending into baby talk as he plucked each petal of the flower in his hand.

"That's a waste," a voice prompted beside him.

"Huh?"

"The flowers are too beautiful to be wasted, why don't you just arrange it again in a vase?" Satsuki suggested. "If I remember, that's the fourteenth one."

"Yeah, and I'm confused."

"Of what?"

"Why was he sending me flowers everyday? I'm a guy,"

"Isn't it cute?" Satsuki smiles. "And besides, men also deserved to recieve them. Not only us women do,"

Tetsuya wafted silence.

"Satsuki-san, what...do you think of him?' later he asked.

"Him? Akashi Seijuro?"

"Yes,"

"I'll be the one to ask you , Tetsu-kun. What do you think of him? How do you really feel for him? Is there a chance that you two can get back together again?" Satsuki asked him arching her brows a good inch.

Tetsuya smoothed the wrinkle in his face to control his emotion, and when he spoke, his voice cooler than it should be. "To be honest, I don't know myself. But this feelings I have now, it's....it's the same the first time I saw him back then. I'll be lying if I said I'm not excited or nervous everytime my phone vibrates and rings, am I waiting for him to call me unconsciously? My neck cranes every time the door opens, am I waiting for him to come and visit me? I don't know what to think anymore, I don't know why I'm still even waiting for him. Until now that look of his eyes still lingering in my mind I can't forget it, sometimes I even thought he was jealous when Kise-kun held me so close and I can't stop my heart from feeling bad for him. But I don't want to hurt Kise-kun too. What should I do? Please tell me...." and he cover his face with his hands, sighing silently.

Satsuki stared at him carefully. It's so simple, very clear. It's as clear as the ocean water and as blue as the sky. Tetsuya, is indeed still inlove with that man. It's just that he's trying to suppress it by thinking of his hatred towards him, the things he'd done before. Kise is another matter, though it also sad to say that Tetsuya has only eyes for his ex lover. And Kise will always be at the side waiting for nothing. Satsuki already knew that Kise has no hope for it because the bluehead himself was hopeless. What should Satsuki do? Will she add feul to the flame? Or pour ice water to cool it off?

"Tetsu-kun..." she mumbled.

Tetsuya uncover his face and slides down his hands on the table, his eyes focus ahead. He looks like a shy maiden that he couldn't keep his feelings in control in a quiet level. Goodness, how could he have been so blind and naive? So utterly unknowing of his true feelings and what of he needs.

He look at Satsuki, saddened. Perhaps he should tell her what's really inside his heart, that his feelings haven't died yet, that it only sleep for a moment and that he's been blind to himself. He just didn't paid attention to it. Should he be honest for now?

A small voice trickled his ears.

What about the times Kise has spent for him? What about the feeling of the basketball player towards him? Should he deny all of it? 

As if Satsuki has read his mind she says, "Tetsu-kun, if you are thinking about Kise-kun, don't worry about him. He understands you that much. He likes you but he's willing to give up if he sees that you are happy. So, if you still like Akashi-san, we are not to hinder your feelings. Go if that makes you happy."

Tetsuya's stomach sink- what will he tell her?

"Satsuki-san," he breaks into a grateful smile. "..thank you for understanding me."

Afterall, Satsuki has been supportive of him.

**********

 

Akashi dropped a revealing but gorgeous smile as the camera flashed numerously. This past two weeks he's been working hard outdoor, off town. And he could only send flowers, dedication cards and chocolates and cakes to the bluehead. He's working non-stop so that he could have a long and nice off days after this shoot. Although Reo, his manager now, warned him to atleast slow down a bit for his health. Before they're off set, he tried to bring Akashi to his personal doctor for check up but the redhead's stubbornly escaped. And now he's been worried 24/7, but Akashi didn't gave care to his ownself at all. Is he trying to kill himself fast? Was Tetsuya all that's inside his head? Sometimes, Reo wanted to blame Tetsuya alone. If only Akashi will tell him the full truth then Tetsuya might listen to him and give him another chance.

"Okay, that's all for today." the photographer anounced as he rolled up his camera.

"Good work, Akashi-san!"

Akashi nodded and went forward to Reo. Now, he's been feeling bad since this morning and just keeping silent. He didn't want to halt the shoot, as much as he wanted to end it fast. And they only have three more days to finish all things. "Water, please." he asked. Reo shove him a cold bottle of water.

After drinking, he look at Reo, but his eyes blurr. He blink them twice then wipe the sweat starting to drip from his face. He staggered.

Shoot! No good. His vision has clouded and he felt nauseous and giddy. And before he falls down, Akashi is able to get a grip on Reo's shirt but it's not strong enough so he plummets down like a boneless fish.

"Sei-chan!" Reo frantically shouted and hold him in his arms so not to knock his head on the stone floor. Other crews and staffs were shock seeing him so white and strengthless.

"Help me, please call an ambulance. Quick!" Reo commanded one crew as he carried the redhead up on his arms.

"Reo, bring... Tetsuya to me....please. I need to see him.." Akashi whispered and then he lose conscious.

 

.......


	11. Chapter 11

 

Akashi is staring at his fingers while he moves them one by one, counting.

"1...2...3.. ," and he sighed. "It's been three days, huh, but you are really not coming to see me." he whispered and put down his hand over his belly. He snailed his gaze on the door under an illusion of Tetsuya's figure coming in, with a very warm smile on his face.

He turn his eyes in another place of the room meeting the innocently sleeping Reo under his seat, or pretending to be, he doesn't know. It's too much to ask a favor from him, but he really do want to ask it by the way, for letting Tetsuya know he's been hospitalized. Or at least, that bluehead could show him a bit of worry even if its not real.

Akashi sigh once again. Thinking too much makes him so exhausted than working physically. But his doctor said that he has to stay here for more days, or not they will force him to stop working. And that he won't allow it, he loves to sing, to perform infront of the crowd, he loves how they like his songs, his voice. Another thing, he loves his work because it's the only way he can vent his feelings, his true emotion. And most importantly, he wish that through his songs, he can deliver his undying love to Tetsuya.

"Is there really no way you can come and see me?" he whispered. "What would I do for you to believe me? What do you want me to do so that you will come back to me again? Tetsuya, did you know that I never stop loving you?" he close his eyes and deep breath. Calming his mind and heart, Akashi fell back to sleep.

While Reo on his seat slowly move and open his eyes from his sleeping pretention, he heard it all and now he's thinking if he have to get the bluehead or not. He admits that Akashi really never forgets Tetsuya, even when he visited him in NY he kept asking about his ex-lover. How'd he doing and if he found another lover. And the fact that he had been brought to this state and had been roundly rejected hurts him, he saw through all of Seijuro's suffering. This time, he'll make sure that Tetsuya-chan will listen to him no matter what even if Seijuro wouldn't agree to it, but he'll tell him the whole truth and nothing but that. He throw another glance at the sleeping redhead and then he left with just one thought in mind and he will make sure Seijuro will thank him one day.

**********

"I'll take my chances," Reo announced, staring at the unresponsive face of the bluehead he continued. "....so please listen to what I say, Tetsuya-chan."

Somehow, Kuroko was intrigued. Raising his eyebrows significantly, he's willing to listen what this huge guy will say to him. "Fine. And what do you want to tell me?"

"Sei-chan....was hospitalised." Reo started, his voice became low textured like gravel wrapped in velvet.

Kuroko's lashes rolled up. "Hospitalised? Why?"

"Stress and because he's been working like there's no tomorrow so, naturally his body can't take it all and he collapsed."

Kuroko's heart beats sending a cold blood in a dizzying rush through his veins. A knot of worry engulf him all of a sudden. "H-how is he now?"

"He needs a complete rest, as of now, he's fine but if he don't listen to the advice of his doctor, he might be in danger again and that is what I'm afraid of."

Battening the perplexing swell of his emotions, Kuroko's mind works twice its usual speed because why did Reo-san said Akashi might be in danger again?

"Again? What do you mean by that?" confused, he asked.

"I will tell you everything, Tetsuya-chan, everything that has happened in the past but first, tell me what you really feel for Sei-chan."  Reo looked at him with determined eyes.

"What does my feelings for him will do with the past?"

"Big. Because after you'll hear to what I say, you'll understand why Sei-chan did those things and broke up with you."

"Why are you doing this? Honestly, I don't like you, I didn't like you from the beginning."

"I figured that much, and I can't argue with you but at least don't like isn't the same with hate so I can still live with it. But to tell you honestly, I am not of what you thought back then. Sei-chan and I are just friends even before."

Profoundly confused at the same time troubled by his words, Kuroko shot Reo a perceprive stare that is disconcertingly brief thorough. "Alright. I...still feel the same, I know its futile but..."

Reo finally cast a genuine smile and sigh dramatically. "That's more than enough, Tetsuya-chan." he murmurred.

________

Brooding, Kuroko still remained sitting even after Reo has fled away pass an hour. For the moment, he is sinking those words of him deeply inside his brain. Remembering all the heart aches and pains that Akashi caused him, all the sufferings he held through all the passed years, it made him more troubled and confused than he had ever been. How in God's name  could Akashi had fool him in keeping his illness? Or will he believe Reo-san? Wouldn't it be best if he told him the truth rather than hurting them both? Or does turning him inside out is his idea of an entertaining hobby? He hated Akashi for making his heart lifeless but he'd hated him even more now. Akashi claimed that Kuroko was illogical wherein he was a hundred times more so. First he want something then if he's tired of it he'll just throw it away just like what he did to him, he made irrational decisions basing on secret that he won't even explain first and he can't even question him because Akashi always thought he was right and that his words were final.

Now he's having headache as how to handle this new situation, but he wanted to see him. Verily.

He's worried, afterall. He decided to go and see him and for once settle everything with Akashi. This time, Kuroko will listen to him and maybe, they could work it out for one last time.

_________________

 

Kuroko's gaze locked on the pale face of the sleeping redhead on his hospital bed held with unnerving intensity. An invinsible strong feelings had filled his heart, drowning him in acute worry. No words seem appropriate and the silence was gratefully bufferred by the gentle wind coming from outside through the open window temporarily. Although his face still lacks color, it was reassuring and Kuroko felt relieved beyond measure. He was quiet wondering with the passed days that Akashi didn't come and see him in the office usually and he have to thank Reo for telling him about this matter, about the truth that Akashi seemed to disclosed to himself forever.

Kuroko looked outside the window, its already dark. He's been here for almost an hour but Akashi hadn't waken up yet, the platter of food for dinner served a while ago now was getting cold. He couldn't stay here late since he has work that wasn't finished and he carried to work it at his home tonight. But seeing the redhead here alone makes him feel a bit sad. Maybe he could stay a bit longer until Akashi will wake up.

Not minding of the time Kuroko fell asleep.

It was about one and a half hours when he felt something was moving against his hair, as if someone was rustling them. He squinted and then blink his eyes, rubbed the cloudy vision that met and hastily got up when he noticed it was dim. Two crimson orbs was intensely staring at him and only when he smiled did he remembers that he was in the hospital exclusive room.

"Sorry, I fell asleep." he said first.

Akashi lift his hand and caress his face, Kuroko was surprise by the sudden gesture he back away.

"How long have you been here?" a bedvoice hustle from the redhead.

"I was here two hours ago, you were sleeping back then that's why I can't just leave you. No one's around and you haven't eaten your dinner yet." Kuroko replied as he took the food from the table. "Oh no, its cold already."

"Don't worry about it, I'm not hungry." Akashi said swallowing a wave of slight nausea.

"But you must eat so you can take your medicine." Kuroko insist as he nestled his fingers on Akashi's arm.

"Its fine. I'll just call Reo to bring food for me when I feel hungry." Akashi said vehemently, stirring up in his nestling.

"No. Wait here, I'll go buy for you. What do you want?"

"I don't need it really," he grabbed Kuroko's hand not to let him go and because he pulled him with a bit of force, the bluehead slumps down and landed on Akashi's.

Both gasped with surprise. The room turned dead silent. Thump. Thump. Thump. Didn't know who's heart is beating loud and fast, Akashi stared at Kuroko the way he always do, absorbing everything and no details could escape making the bluehead blush and his blood so hot in its boiling point he even swallowed convulsively. Kuroko cling onto his shoulder misting his vision until the room seems turn to mosaic of amber and a dark shadow. While Akashi start to caress him and his hands so gentle on his back, soothing and distracting and when it slids down his butt, the touch sent tons of heat through him making him moan low.

Embarrassed with his action, Kuroko choked out straining backward and instinctly retreat. Save by his phone it rings. He answer it.

"Hello," he speaks. "Kise-kun?"

Hearing the name makes Akashi frown sourly.

"I'm sorry, okay, I'm coming."

Akashi snap a shot onto the bluehead, will Kuroko leave him now? But he wanted him to stay for the night.

"Alright. Bye, see you in thirty minutes." and Kuroko called off his phone.

He turned his eyes on the sobering redhead.

"I'm going now, please don't forget to call Reo to bring you dinner and take your medicine. Rest well. I will come again to visit you,"

Akashi didn't say anything and just stared at him. Kuroko stand up and gestured to leave.

But the redhead grab his hand and squeeze it gently. "Don't go," Akashi said, his eyes pleading.

"Akashi-kun..."

"Please, won't you stay with me tonight?"

"I'm sorry, Kise-kun is waiting for me. I promised to have dinner with him--"

"Please?"

 _Akashi-kun...._ Kuroko mentally muttered as he tried to hold free from Akashi's grip.

_What should I do?_

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

Dry and itchy, it welled hard and fast in his throat. It ache too much to free a word so Kuroko hold off the redhead's hands of him and with heavy heart, he slowly turned his back. Like a snail he crunch his feet against the floor without looking back, breathing deep before opening the door and slip out as if he didn't hear the huffing voice stopping him from leaving.

"Tetsuya...." was the only word Akashi edged out when the bluehead's gone.

Now, he's all alone again tonight. Lying in the darkness of the room, his mind is plague with fears. He felt as though he would soon lost Tetsuya completely.

"Well, I have no right to complain now. Its all my fault that he won't believe in me anymore. I only hope that blond will take care of him and will return back his pure and honest love."

Silent as the night, Akashi closed his eyes and numbed his heart so that he won't feel pain again.

***

Leaning himself against the door, Tetsuya stayed there for a while. His mind is battling between leaving Akashi alone or stay with him tonight. Inwardly he is still gasping over the scene a while ago. Akashi is so darn enticing even with his hair tumbled all over, his eyes slumberous yet his expression is sensual. It makes his heart race fast that it awakes of his every senses. Slowly, he slumps down and sit, wrapping his arms around his upraised knees and rest his chin on top of it. He was annoyed with himself,  but what else could he do? He's still madly inlove with him and no matter what had happened in the past, nothing change with the way his heart is feeling now. And Akashi is doing his best to win him back.

Then, how will he face Kise-kun? How will he tell him without hurting his feelings?

He took his phone and stared at it, almost glassy. He never figured out that one day he has to choose between the two. Never.

He scrolled and halted at Kise's name. What he ought to do, could let any of the two guys down. Both of them are offering a good intention with his heart, but, only one he will choose and even if Satsuki will hate him of his decision, or Kise to feel indisposed towards him, it doesn't matter. He will use all the time to ask for their understanding. He had been hurt enough and only one person could return back all the missing pieces of his heart.

He dialed Kise's number.

Click.

"Hello, Kise-kun?"

A silence eminated, Tetsuya listens to the other side.

"Kise-kun....I'm sorry but can we postpone our dinner?"

 

.....

 

.....

"Yes, I....got something important to attend to."

 

.....

"I'm really sorry, thank you. I will call you again and...Kise-kun, let's talk properly. I have something to tell you,"

 

.....

"Alright. Thanks again, good night."

Tetsuya tighten his grip on the phone, he decided to tell him honestly about his feelings. Although it will be hard to tell him, it must be done so that Kise won't be waiting for him senseless.

 

Tetsuya cringed when a pair of legs stopped infront of him. He raised his head to look who was it.

"Reo-san..."

"What are you doing outside?"

Tetsuya stood up and fixed his wrinkled clothes.

"Did you see him?"

"Yes,"

"And what are you doing outside the room?" Reo asked again the same question. His right hand was carrying a paper bag with a name of the restaurant written on it.

"Nothing, I just....ehm..."

"Nevermind. I came to give this but I will leave immediately." Reo looked at him like his eyes has something to say.

"Then, you can go in now." Kuroko glided slightly to give way to Reo.

Reo stood still, a couple seconds of silence crept before he spoke again.

"I can't stay today, if its not so much to ask a favor from you, can you please stay with him tonight?"

"Y-yeah," without hesitation, Kuroko nodded.

"Thanks. I won't be going in, this is his dinner. I'm sure he haven't eaten yet, he doesn't like hospital food so I'm bringing food for him everyday." Reo handed him the paper bag.

"You're right. He didn't touch the food served to him at all. It only cooled off."

"Go in. I'll be on my way,"

"Okay. Please take care on your way," Kuroko said.

Reo gave him a smile and then he's off.

Kuroko heaved, slowly he hold the knob and turned it down. The door sound creaked to open, slipping his head inside he saw Akashi was already in bed but he doesn't know if he's asleep or not yet or if he's just lying down. He walked in after closing the door. Kuroko put down the bag of food on the table and sat beside Akashi. He lifted his hand and touch softly his face.

He was bit startled when Akashi suddenly hold his hand and grip it.

"You came back, thank you, Tetsuya."

Tetsuya looked him in the eyes. He smiled.

"Please eat your dinner so you can take your medicine," he hold Akashi's hand and slowly bring it down. "And by the way, Reo brought the food. I met him outside, he said he can't stay tonight--"

"Its fine." Akashi interrupted. "You're here, so, its fine." he sat upright.

Kuroko lit up the light and then prepare the food on the table. After that he served it placing the table near the bed.

"Thank you," and Akashi started eating. After sometime he glanced at the bluehead, eyes gleam with undefinable emotion. He knows the food wasn't as good as those food Kuroko cooked for him back then, but he felt as though it was like before. And he kept smiling he looked creepy.

Kuroko felt the tips of his ears turn red and it took surprising effort to force himself to stay calm, Akashi's stares, he felt like he was melting.

"Please stop staring at me,"

"But I love to look at your face, I don't feel enough I want to hug you tight, I want you all for myself."

His words tickles Kuroko's heart the redder his face turned into.

The room fell silent while Akashi continue to eat yet still gazing at the bluehead, and to Kuroko's chagrin, he looked down because he can't stand the way his eyes was heating up to him. "Out with it, please" he once again said.

"Alright," but the smile he wears still there.

No one talk until Akashi finished eating, Kuroko gave him all his medicines and in just five seconds Akashi took them all in one.

Tongue-tied, Kuroko sat still beside the bed.

"You chose to stay with me, but was it really fine?"

It was a harmless question but for Kuroko, he sensed it as multilayered. He replied cautiously.

"Yeah, I called my dinner with Kise-kun off. He's not an unreasonable person so its fine."

"Kise Ryouta," Akashi murmurred, Kuroko chose to stay but his heart's still can not wash away the doubt. He knows that guy wasn't only a friend, he know and he can feel it the way his eyes looked at Kuroko and a needle of jealousy stabbed him. "Tetsuya, tell me honestly, who is Kise Ryouta to you?"

"He's....a f-friend."

"But to me, your definition of friend does not match how that guy feels for you."

"I know," Kuroko uttered. "I plan to talk to him for real."

"Tetsuya," he paused. "...what am I exactly to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know that I really like you, but how about you? Do you feel the same?"

Kuroko slowly, slowly lifted up his body and slowly, slowly, he moved his head near Akashi's and their face's at equal level. Their noses touch against each other, warm breath mixed up, and slowly, Kuroko slightly tilted his head and claimed Akashi's lips. Without any inhibitions, he parted his lips and made a french, in which, Akashi didn't expected it at all. This was the first time that Kuroko has done it. In responsed, he lifted his hands and cradled Kuroko's face. Their lips were hot and restless, there goes Kuroko's answer to his question.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to Rei Shidou, Ophel, and Fiona: I badly missed you guys, please tell me you are here....


	13. Chapter 13

 

Akashi stayed in the hospital for another two days more and Kuroko didn't leave him alone since then, after working the whole day he ran fast to his house and prepared himself then went over to take care of Akashi and stayed there at night. He could see that the redhead was recovering good, his bright aura was showing all of it. His doctor said that it was like a miracle his heart was really healing fast.

It could have been that Kuroko was always there and everyone thought that he might be one reason of the redhead's fast recovery. Akashi's father felt indebted to Kuroko so with no second thought he gave his consent and approval to them being together. If Kuroko's presence will let his son live longer, he has no reason to hinder their happiness.

Masaomi had given all the freedom to Seijuro. If he wanted to continue his job as a singer, let it be. But if Seijuro will one day come to him and take over their business, the better. He'll let Kuroko work there, too. For the meantime, he will let him do whatever he want to do for now. Because the health of his son is the most important matter other than anything.

When Kuroko has reach the hospital and take over, Masaomi bid good night to them and leave. Tomorrow will be a big day because Seijuro will finally going home.

"Take care on your way home, sir." Kuroko bow his head as he earnestly speaks to his future father in-law.

Masaomi looked at him with such something in his mind and he couldn't get it out if he won't tell it to Kuroko.

"Say, Kuroko-kun...can you take care of my son 24hours starting today?"

"S-sir?"

But Masaomi didn't repeat himself, he looked at the time and then looked back at him. "I'll be going, consider what I had told you and give me your answer tomorrow." He opened the door and before leaving, he glanced one time to his son and nodded at Kuroko. He's gone.

Thinking aloud, Seijuro's father just asked him to live with his son, right? At least, that was how Kuroko understood those words of his.

Smiling, he step beside the bed and stares at the face of the sleeping soundless Seijuro.

Starting tomorrow will be an endless journey for the both of them.

**********

 

"I'm sorry if I had hurt you, Kise-kun." Kuroko bows down his head, he reaches the blond's hands who is infront of him at the moment.

Two days after Seijuro discharged from the hospital, Kuroko called Kise for a proper talk.

"Seriously, why are you apologizing Kurokocchi?" Kise has it upon his face, though he shows him a cheerful smile it wouldn't fool Kuroko's inner thoughts that Kise is just trying not to show his true feelings. That deep inside he's hurting.

"Please Kise-kun, I would be troubled if you don't tell me what's really in your mind." he grip tight Kise's hands. "And I won't be able to look you in the eyes again,"

A soft and long sigh come out from Kise.

"You know, I will be the one troubled if you show me that sad face. From the start I know already that you won't be able to like me back. I knew that deep inside your heart you still have the feelings for Akashi. If I hadn't felt that before, I would truly pursued you, you know." Kise let go off his right hand and lifts it to touch Kuroko's face. "I am content just by being beside you and as one of your friend."

"Kise-kun,"

"Don't trouble yourself anymore and just be happy with him, that, I'll be happy too."

"T-thank you,"

"But you know, I would be more happy if you'll have dinner with me tonight."

"Then come to my house tonight, I also invited Satsuki-san and his son to come over for dinner." he happily announce.

"Alright, cook my favorite food then."

 

Later that night, just like the old days the four of them having dinner in his house, enjoying the food he had cooked for all of them.

Kuroko, deep inside is very happy at the same time a bit sad because after he'll live with his boyfriend, his time with his friends will be shortened. He already decided to quit his work in the publishing company and instead will work together with Seijuro in the Akashi businesses. Seijuro has also decided to quit his modelling and, even his career as a singer.

_"My father isn't getting any younger, and while I can still learn from him I might stick with him until I can hold up the ropes by myself."_

Seijuro has told his manager/friend Reo to schedule a press conference, he will announce to his fans that he won't be on the stage anymore.

 

**********

 

  **EPILOGUE**

 

 

"Akashi-kun, you love singing but why did you quit?" Kuroko asks while his fingers are rustling the redhead's hair. They are in the living room resting on the couch, Kuroko is sitting while Seijuro lays down on the bluehead's lap as his pillow.

"Before I went to the U.S. for medication, I already decided to quit. I thought I have no second chance to live anymore, but then while in there, my father and Reo insisted me to have fun while waiting my donor. And I didn't expect that I was accepted there so I continue singing." Seijuro replied, he pulled softly Kuroko's hand near to his lips and then kiss his dorsum, his fingers.

"So, why now?"

Before opening again his mouth, Seijuro look him in the eyes. He pulled Kuroko on the back of his neck down to meet his lips, and right there, Seijuro give him a kiss.

Kuroko is utterly baffled by Seijuro's loving gestures.

"Because Tetsuya, I wanted to be with you twenty four hours a day, every day in a week, every week in a month and every month in a year."

"We can be together even if you didn't quit."

"You don't get it, do you?"

"Hmmmm...?" blankly, he stares at him.

"I want to stay with you forever, to  be beside you. I don't want to miss every seconds not seeing you. If only I could keep you in my pocket I would lovely do that, Tetsuya." Seijuro whispered.

Kuroko never thought that Seijuro could blabber those words, he never thought that this guy is unbelievably possessive of him.

It fondles his heart that Seijuro could be so cute sometimes.

He look at his face and its blazingly red.

"Don't look at me, its so embarrassing saying those words," Seijuro said as he put his arm to cover his eyes.

Kuroko take his hand away. "But you are so cute, Akashi-kun."

"Stop it," the more his face turns red.

Kuroko chuckles. This is his gem and everything he could treasure them, expressions only him knows, only to him that Seijuro could be guard less. And he won't allow anyone to see how cute Seijuro when he blush, when he's embarass. And only him could own his heart--- _well, Seijuro's heart isn't the same anymore. But the heart transplanted to him was very much compatible to his system, and now he's fully recovered....but...._

"What's wrong? You became quiet all of a sudden,"Seijuro asked him.

The heart inside of Seijuro troubled him.

"Akashi-kun....the heart in your chest... I mean," Kuroko somehow can not say what's bothering him.

"My heart? What about it?"

"T-they say that if your heart was changed, your own feelings and emotions before--"

"Cut it Tetsuya, there's no hundred percent probability of that claim to be true."

"Yeah, sure, but..."

Seijuro look Tetsuya firm in the eyes, grimly.

"Are you doubting my feelings to you?"

"No!" Kuroko said quick. "I know you love me,"

"Don't doubt my feelings Tetsuya, even if my own heart isn't existing anymore, even if this heart inside my chest is not the same anymore, I am true to you. That no matter how many times I'll change heart, and no matter how many hearts replaces my own heart, my feelings are still the same." Seijuro pulled down his right hand and place it over his chest, on his heart. "Do you feel how it beats loud and fast?"

Kuroko slowly nods.

"That's how my heart is whenever I am near you, Tetsuya."

_Seijuro's heart is thumping so fast, Kuroko almost feels like every beat's shouting his name._

In return, Kuroko takes Seijuro's hand too and place it over his own chest.

"Do you feel it too, Akashi-kun?" the rushes of blood makes his face even brighter red, his hands are nervous, excitement over rules, trembling.

Seijuro smiles. "Yeah,"

 

__END__


End file.
